The good, the bad, and the ugly

Life with a kid can be a roller coaster.  Especially if that kid is a teen.  For some reason (maybe all the togetherness resulting from WAY too many snow days!), lately I've been noticing how many little ups and downs there are in life with Daniel.  Some, I'm sure, are typical of all teens; others, not so much.  (And the ones that are atypical are not necessarily bad...just...different!)

So, without further ado, some vignettes of the ugly, the bad and the good.

The ugly:

One evening Daniel was mildly displeased with me about something, and demonstrated his displeasure by blowing in my face from less than ten inches away.  (Mind you, he gets righteously offended at Esther for blowing in his direction, even if she's several feet away!)  I told him to quit.  He grinned, and proceeded to blow in my face at every opportunity for the rest of the evening.  I have a feeling that that kind of behavior is normal for an ornery child at some developmental stage--but I'm pretty sure that that developmental stage is not older teenager! 

The bad:

A couple of years ago, we went through months where Daniel would ask me every day, often more than once, if I loved him.  When I said yes, he would grunt, or respond with "maybe" or "I don't think so" or "no you don't."  Recently he was feeling anxious about some upcoming changes in our family, and started recycling the whole "Do you love me?  No, you don't" pattern.  Besides this he was doing every little thing he could do to get on my nerves, and telling me he was "annoying" and "a bad kids."  It was really hard to parent him when he was in that mode, because at the same time that he so much needed reassurance and nurturing, he was acting in ways that were pushing me away.  He's doing much better now, but I have a feeling that at some point in the future, we'll re-cycle through those feelings and behaviors once again.

The good:

Our beloved foster/adopt agency recently had an open house their new location, and it snowed the whole time.  Daniel volunteered to shovel the sidewalk, which meant four hours of keeping an eye on accumulations and periodically going out to clear it off.  He did this all with energy and a positive attitude, and not one of the VIP guests had trouble walking in from their car, even the ones in high heels.  In between shoveling, he wandered around inside, cracking up the staff with his wise guy remarks.  (You know those sitcom characters who have a snarky comment for everything?  He can be like that in real life!)  We were really proud of his hard work and his willingness to help.  Besides being a character he has a lot of character, and it keeps getting better!

Also, I couldn't help but smile today when he called me from a club trip to thank me for noticing that the gloves he had picked out were too small and for putting a larger pair in his backpack.  (And, I'm thrilled that he agreed to go on a just-for-fun peer activity, just like a "normal" teen!  Social though he is, he has not been interested in typical teen activities like attending sports games or school dances or all-county choir, and I think it's probably good for him to experience that side of high-school life.)


So, there you have it.  Our life with an adopted teen is "different"...and there's plenty in that to drive us nuts...but also plenty to be thankful for!