For a variety of reasons we had not planned on fostering at all this year, except for helping other families out with respite care.
But on Friday I got a call from the social worker of our beloved Princess and Little Guy. She was on her way to check on a situation in their family, and she was afraid that they might have to come back into care. Would we be willing to take them? I was pretty sure I knew the answer, because Tim and I have talked many times about how we love them and wanted to be a resource to them if they ever needed us again in the future. I made a quick phone call to Tim at work to confirm, and then was able to tell their social worker that, yes, even though it is not an ideal time for us, we just couldn't see putting them through going to strangers when we had beds for them at our house. At this point we knew nothing, not the situation, nor how long we might expect to have them for. For all we knew, we could have been getting them permanently...or we could have gotten a call that things were not that bad after all and we weren't needed.
It turned out that the concerns about their living situation were significant, though not unfixable, and much sooner than we could get our house ready for them, they arrived. We were told they might be with us for a few weeks. The move had been presented to Princess as an extended sleepover (apparently she has been asking for a sleepover with us for months), so she was beyond ecstatic. Little Guy was confused, and went non-verbal on us (something he has done when under stress for as long as we have known him). But both of the kids had a grand time playing with Esther, and all went well until bedtime, when Little Guy cried big crocodile tears and managed to whisper, "I want Mommy," while Princess and Esther whispered and giggled and tossed and turned and took two solid hours to get to sleep! Princess wanted to know if she was going home the next day, and we had to explain that this visit was going to be longer than what she was expecting. She was fine with that.
Saturday I got to do my first ever lice treatment on Princess's luxuriant hair, and we took the kids to a McDonald's with a play place, followed by a trip to buy clothes. The Department had given us vouchers, which we didn't spend much of because the store had already removed all the cooler-weather items that we need right now, and there didn't seem to be much point in buying an extensive summer wardrobe if they were going to be leaving again before May. So now I'm doing frequent laundry, especially since half the pants we bought for Little Guy are too big, and Princess (we now discover) is no longer "into" pants and insists that none of the ones we bought fit, even though she tried them on in the store. Argh.
Anyway, by the end of the day Saturday we were pretty much back on our old footing. The three younger kids are calling each other Sissy and Bubby and calling us Mommy and Daddy; the girls are constantly tattling on somebody, usually one of their brothers; Daniel is irked with both girls but quite fond of Little Guy, who reciprocates the feeling; and our house is a mess.
Despite the work, noise, and tiredness, we are loving getting to see the kids again. Princess seems more settled and mature, and Little Guy amazes us with how much he can talk! He was barely stringing words together when he left, and now he is talking in complete sentences with correct pronouns and singing "Jingle bells, Batman smells." He is still hard to understand because of his pronunciation, but the development in grammar and vocabulary is impressive! And, he is easier to care for now because he doesn't get into quite as many things and has a longer attention span. It seems like both kids have been doing well in the time since we last saw them.
But, the issues that led to them coming back into care still need to be resolved. And the latest news (after a meeting between the kids' mom and all the professionals involved with their case) is that we are not going to have them for a couple of weeks, but a couple of months, until their next court hearing. At that point, if issues have been resolved (which is the likely scenario, as their mom really was doing well with them for most of the time since they left our care), then they will go back home. If not...there are laws intended to limit the amount of time children can spend in limbo while their parents partially get their act together, and this case is pushing the limits of that time frame. We have been asked whether we would consider adopting them if it came to that.
So, a lot is riding on the next couple of months. I feel for the kids' mom, because whatever her other issues are, she really, truly loves her kids, and they are very bonded to her. And she is going through a really hard time right now where she doesn't feel well physically, isn't getting much emotional support, and has some significant practical hurdles to deal with (like lack of transportation) that would make it challenging to do what she needs to do even if she felt up to it. So it's hard to think too badly of her even if she isn't able to do what needs to be done in the next two months...but at the same time, there will no doubt be other times during the kids' childhood when things are hard for her, and if she's not able to overcome these hardships now, who's to say that she'll be able to consistently do so in the future?
So it's been an emotional rollercoaster for us. We've gone from thinking maybe this would be forever...to two or three weeks...to several months...or possibly forever after all, but probably just till June. And while we're thrilled to be reunited with the kids, it is hard to see Little Guy cry for his mommy every night, and we certainly don't want them (or their mother) to experience the devastation they would feel if that relationship were to be legally severed.
Prayers are appreciated.
