Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Our little climber
In general, we like Esther to stay out of the kitchen cupboards. But we have one cupboard that we have left unlatched so that she can open it up, remove or add contents (one time I opened the door to discover Tim's shoe reposing in our largest pot!), and generally have a good old toddler time. This was the scene inside "her" cupboard this morning:
Sunday, September 28, 2008
I'm better than a green blanket!
There's always something to worry about when you're a parent, right? If we had had a birth child, I think my two bogeymen in the closet would have been SIDS and autism--two things that are really scary and that can happen no matter how many things you do right. Since our child was adopted past the age of early infancy, my bogeymen have been autism and attachment. For those of you who aren't psychologists or part of the adoption community, here's a rundown on attachment as I understand it:
Basically, when the relationship between a parent and child works as designed, the child experiences the parent as a source of comfort, pleasure and protection. The child thus comes to trust the parent to meet his/her needs, and enjoys the parent's presence. This is called a secure attachment. A child with a secure attachment seeks the parent out for both fun and help, and shows a healthy balance between dependence (trusting the parent to meet needs) and independence (trusting the parent not to go away). When something happens to disrupt the normal workings of the relationship--an extended absence of the parent, for example (I believe attachment problems were first described in children whose mothers had been hospitalized for an extended period of time), or a failure of the parent to meet the child's physical and emotional needs--then the child is at risk for developing an unhealthy attachment style. Unhealthy attachment styles include anxious attachment (e.g. the child doesn't trust the parent to stick around, and so reacts with panic if the parent so much as goes into the bathroom and closes the door), avoidant attachment (e.g. the child doesn't trust the parent to meet his/her needs, and so bends over backwards to prevent the parent from being in control of need-meeting, either finding another way or person to get the needs met or simply ignoring the needs), reactive attachment (e.g. the child expects the parent to reject him/her, and so takes control of the situation by acting in ways that will bring rejection on the child's terms), and ambivalent attachment (e.g. the child wants the parent's care and attention but can't bring him/herself to receive it). Children with unhealthy attachment styles have a greater-than-normal need to control the people in their most important relationships. They can be very charming to everyone other than their primary caregiver, which is itself a form of control. Children raised in institutions, where they may have had many caregivers and never had the chance to form a special, close relationship, or where they may have regularly experienced having physical or emotional needs that were not quickly met, are at special risk for attachment disorders. Children who experience a drastic change in caregivers at a young age, even if both the "before" and "after" caregivers are loving and responsible, are also at special risk.
So, before we got Esther I did a lot of reading about how attachment works and how to parent children in ways that mitigate the effects of unhealthy attachment and promote the formation of secure attachment. After we got Esther, I practiced what I had learned, watched her closely, and, occasionally, worried. She cried when I walked out of her sight for two seconds--could she be anxiously attached? She ran to a visitor that she had never met before and held up her arms to be picked up--was this indiscriminate affection a sign of trouble? She played by herself contentedly for half an hour--was she avoidantly attached? The first time we left her in the church nursery, she had a wonderful time and apparently didn't miss us--was that normal??
Then there were the signs of a developing attachment, which I greeted with relief. There was the day I was walking Esther around a restaurant, and one of the servers (not from the U.S.) picked her up without asking my permission, and Esther turned around and looked intently at my face, I'm sure to gauge my reaction, before she turned her attention back to charming the woman who was holding her. And there was the time I wanted to let my mother-in-law hold her in the rocking chair, because for once in her life Esther had actually sat still long enough to let me rock her, but Esther wouldn't have any of it because she wasn't feeling well and only Mommy would do. Then there was the time I left her on the porch with two of her grandmothers, people she knew and loved, while I went into the house to fetch some papers, and she stood by the door watching for me until I came back. And in church, right after she learned to walk, she had walked a little ways away from me, and when I knelt down and opened my arms to her, her little face lit up and she practically ran into my hug. And many, many times when she was teething on her molars I would pick her up crying from her crib and feel her snuggle into my shoulder, stop crying, and fall back to sleep.
I was thinking about all this last weekend when we went camping. We were a little unsure of how Esther would sleep in a strange place, but we had brought the all-important green blanket which now makes trips in the carseat bearable and which is necessary for her to fall asleep in the crib. She didn't have any trouble falling asleep, but towards morning she went through a phase where she kept half-waking and beginning to cry at finding herself in an unfamiliar place. At those times I had to hold her tightly against me, and she would subside back to sleep as long as I didn't let go. Later she would start to wake up, reach out and touch my hair, and go back to sleep again. I realized she wasn't reaching for her green blanket; she was reaching for me.
Last night I thought about it again when Esther and I were watching a friend's big dog through the kitchen door. Esther was very, very intrigued by Otis, and was having a wonderful time until he barked and scratched on the door. She jumped, and, without taking her eyes off the dog, sidled towards me and sat down on my lap, where the alarmed look faded from her face.
It's a good feeling to know that out of all the places and objects in the world, I'm the one that makes her feel the most secure. For now, that's exactly the way it should be.
Basically, when the relationship between a parent and child works as designed, the child experiences the parent as a source of comfort, pleasure and protection. The child thus comes to trust the parent to meet his/her needs, and enjoys the parent's presence. This is called a secure attachment. A child with a secure attachment seeks the parent out for both fun and help, and shows a healthy balance between dependence (trusting the parent to meet needs) and independence (trusting the parent not to go away). When something happens to disrupt the normal workings of the relationship--an extended absence of the parent, for example (I believe attachment problems were first described in children whose mothers had been hospitalized for an extended period of time), or a failure of the parent to meet the child's physical and emotional needs--then the child is at risk for developing an unhealthy attachment style. Unhealthy attachment styles include anxious attachment (e.g. the child doesn't trust the parent to stick around, and so reacts with panic if the parent so much as goes into the bathroom and closes the door), avoidant attachment (e.g. the child doesn't trust the parent to meet his/her needs, and so bends over backwards to prevent the parent from being in control of need-meeting, either finding another way or person to get the needs met or simply ignoring the needs), reactive attachment (e.g. the child expects the parent to reject him/her, and so takes control of the situation by acting in ways that will bring rejection on the child's terms), and ambivalent attachment (e.g. the child wants the parent's care and attention but can't bring him/herself to receive it). Children with unhealthy attachment styles have a greater-than-normal need to control the people in their most important relationships. They can be very charming to everyone other than their primary caregiver, which is itself a form of control. Children raised in institutions, where they may have had many caregivers and never had the chance to form a special, close relationship, or where they may have regularly experienced having physical or emotional needs that were not quickly met, are at special risk for attachment disorders. Children who experience a drastic change in caregivers at a young age, even if both the "before" and "after" caregivers are loving and responsible, are also at special risk.
So, before we got Esther I did a lot of reading about how attachment works and how to parent children in ways that mitigate the effects of unhealthy attachment and promote the formation of secure attachment. After we got Esther, I practiced what I had learned, watched her closely, and, occasionally, worried. She cried when I walked out of her sight for two seconds--could she be anxiously attached? She ran to a visitor that she had never met before and held up her arms to be picked up--was this indiscriminate affection a sign of trouble? She played by herself contentedly for half an hour--was she avoidantly attached? The first time we left her in the church nursery, she had a wonderful time and apparently didn't miss us--was that normal??
Then there were the signs of a developing attachment, which I greeted with relief. There was the day I was walking Esther around a restaurant, and one of the servers (not from the U.S.) picked her up without asking my permission, and Esther turned around and looked intently at my face, I'm sure to gauge my reaction, before she turned her attention back to charming the woman who was holding her. And there was the time I wanted to let my mother-in-law hold her in the rocking chair, because for once in her life Esther had actually sat still long enough to let me rock her, but Esther wouldn't have any of it because she wasn't feeling well and only Mommy would do. Then there was the time I left her on the porch with two of her grandmothers, people she knew and loved, while I went into the house to fetch some papers, and she stood by the door watching for me until I came back. And in church, right after she learned to walk, she had walked a little ways away from me, and when I knelt down and opened my arms to her, her little face lit up and she practically ran into my hug. And many, many times when she was teething on her molars I would pick her up crying from her crib and feel her snuggle into my shoulder, stop crying, and fall back to sleep.
I was thinking about all this last weekend when we went camping. We were a little unsure of how Esther would sleep in a strange place, but we had brought the all-important green blanket which now makes trips in the carseat bearable and which is necessary for her to fall asleep in the crib. She didn't have any trouble falling asleep, but towards morning she went through a phase where she kept half-waking and beginning to cry at finding herself in an unfamiliar place. At those times I had to hold her tightly against me, and she would subside back to sleep as long as I didn't let go. Later she would start to wake up, reach out and touch my hair, and go back to sleep again. I realized she wasn't reaching for her green blanket; she was reaching for me.
Last night I thought about it again when Esther and I were watching a friend's big dog through the kitchen door. Esther was very, very intrigued by Otis, and was having a wonderful time until he barked and scratched on the door. She jumped, and, without taking her eyes off the dog, sidled towards me and sat down on my lap, where the alarmed look faded from her face.
It's a good feeling to know that out of all the places and objects in the world, I'm the one that makes her feel the most secure. For now, that's exactly the way it should be.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Esther's dedication
On Sunday, we had Esther dedicated in church. We solemnly committed ourselves to "the love and nurture of [Esther], to teach her by word and by deed, by instruction and by example, by correction and encouragement, and to lead her towards knowledge and the ways of Jesus" and to "pray for Esther, and provide for her spiritual growth just as [we] provide for her physical, emotional and intellectual growth."Then we heard the congregation commit to "pray for, encourage and support this family, as they grow in the grace and truth and image of Jesus, and...welcome Esther into the life of this Church,
as [their] own sister in Christ."Many of our closest friends here were out of town this week, so we will have a separate time of commemorating Esther's dedication with them later, but it was very important to us to make this commitment in the context of the whole church of which we are a part.
Esther was reasonably quiet during the ceremony, but amused the congregation by trying to grab the microphone from Tim and me. Then during the service she entertained several rows of people behind us by winking at them, pr
oducing some pretty incredible facial contortions. I suppose I'd rather she be funny in church than throwing a tantrum, but I do feel bad when she's distracting people!For the special occasion, Esther wore a beautiful lavender dress given to us by our friends in Kunming. We did a photo shoot before and after church. Anyone who's not a parent would be amazed at the number of unattractive pictures we got as a result, but we did end up with some cute ones as well. And here are some of them for you to enjoy!
Olympic spirit!
Last Friday we watched the Opening Ceremonies of the Olympics on a big screen with our friends at Grace Fellowship (a Chinese fellowship). It was a fun atmosphere, as everyone rose for the Chinese national anthem, cheered for the spectacular moments of the ceremony, and laughed at the incongruous cutting-in of commercial breaks. For the occasion, Esther wore a little outfit that we had bought in Beijing which says "Beijing 2008," along with numerous Chinese characters that I don't understand but assume have something to do with the Olympics. The braiding around the edges is in the Chinese team colors of red and gold. 
Here is a picture of her modeling the outfit on our porch, ever-present stick in hand. Perhaps she'll grow up to be an Olympic fencer?
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
NaiNai, YeYe, and the great outdoors
It's been so long since I last posted that I hope I can remember how to do this!
I really love our neighborhood. There are lots of reasons for that, but one of them is the population of our apartment complex. There are people here from all over! I periodically see residents wearing saris or the typical costumes of various African countries, and the other day I saw a woman in full Vietnamese dress crossing the parking lot to throw her trash away! One of our new neighbor families is Chinese. It consists of a highly-educated, working mother and father, a two-year-old boy, and--typically--live-in paternal grandparents. (Actually, they live in a different apartment, but only because a three-bedroom isn't available at the moment.) The grandparents love children in general, and Esther in particular. Whenever we are out at the same time, they will play with her and speak Chinese to both of us (they only speak a few words of English, mostly things that their grandson says a lot). So although Esther will likely never meet her birth grandparents, she is well on her way to having a surrogate NaiNai and YeYe (the terms, respectively, for paternal grandmother and paternal grandfather). That makes me very happy! It's also good for me to have to use Chinese to communicate, although it's rather uncomfortable never being sure if I told them what I thought I told them, or left them with the wrong idea entirely! (Like, at one point they asked me a question which, from the words I understood, I guessed to be whether Esther was my only child--but they could also have been asking whether I lived alone. I told them yes, and hoped I was answering the right question!) Esther has also made a great fan of the grandmother of an extended family of Vietnamese immigrants, who I can't communicate with at all except for body language. Fortunately body language is all you need with a baby, so the two of them understand each other perfectly.
On another note, it's amazing how many people talk to me now that I have a baby! I'm actually starting to get to know a few of our neighbors, something I had thought was well-nigh impossible in an apartment complex.
I've been trying to take Esther outside for a walk on a regular basis, now that she is walking well. There is a wonderfully large grassy area just in back of our apartment building which is perfect for rambling through. Esther's favorite parts are the woodchips in the playground area, the stairs going up the hill, sticks, and squirrels. Today we were lucky enough to see three or four squirrels relatively close. Esther stamped her feet, hissed (her current way of expressing pleasure and excitement), pointed her stick at them, and was generally thrilled. Of course when she started towards them as fast as she could toddle they ran away.
Like I said, this is a great place to live!
I really love our neighborhood. There are lots of reasons for that, but one of them is the population of our apartment complex. There are people here from all over! I periodically see residents wearing saris or the typical costumes of various African countries, and the other day I saw a woman in full Vietnamese dress crossing the parking lot to throw her trash away! One of our new neighbor families is Chinese. It consists of a highly-educated, working mother and father, a two-year-old boy, and--typically--live-in paternal grandparents. (Actually, they live in a different apartment, but only because a three-bedroom isn't available at the moment.) The grandparents love children in general, and Esther in particular. Whenever we are out at the same time, they will play with her and speak Chinese to both of us (they only speak a few words of English, mostly things that their grandson says a lot). So although Esther will likely never meet her birth grandparents, she is well on her way to having a surrogate NaiNai and YeYe (the terms, respectively, for paternal grandmother and paternal grandfather). That makes me very happy! It's also good for me to have to use Chinese to communicate, although it's rather uncomfortable never being sure if I told them what I thought I told them, or left them with the wrong idea entirely! (Like, at one point they asked me a question which, from the words I understood, I guessed to be whether Esther was my only child--but they could also have been asking whether I lived alone. I told them yes, and hoped I was answering the right question!) Esther has also made a great fan of the grandmother of an extended family of Vietnamese immigrants, who I can't communicate with at all except for body language. Fortunately body language is all you need with a baby, so the two of them understand each other perfectly.
On another note, it's amazing how many people talk to me now that I have a baby! I'm actually starting to get to know a few of our neighbors, something I had thought was well-nigh impossible in an apartment complex.
I've been trying to take Esther outside for a walk on a regular basis, now that she is walking well. There is a wonderfully large grassy area just in back of our apartment building which is perfect for rambling through. Esther's favorite parts are the woodchips in the playground area, the stairs going up the hill, sticks, and squirrels. Today we were lucky enough to see three or four squirrels relatively close. Esther stamped her feet, hissed (her current way of expressing pleasure and excitement), pointed her stick at them, and was generally thrilled. Of course when she started towards them as fast as she could toddle they ran away.
Like I said, this is a great place to live!
Monday, July 7, 2008
Esther is growing!
Esther had her twelve-month check-up this morning. She weighed in at 16 pounds, 14 ounces--that's nearly a two-and-a-half pound weight gain in the last seven weeks! I had hoped she would make it to sixteen pounds, so I was surprised and pleased that she was so much over that! Of course, she did have an enormous breakfast this morning, so maybe that added a few ounces to her weight... She still isn't quite on the U.S. growth chart, but she's close to the tenth percentile on the WHO, so I'm happy. I'd still like someone to explain to me why low weight in and of itself is a health concern. I realize that low weight is associated with all kinds of health issues, but if health problems have been ruled out and the child is developing normally, has plenty of energy, and has the opportunity to eat more food if they want it, I fail to see why it's necessary for parents to go to Herculean efforts to make their child bigger.
Esther has also grown an inch and a quarter since her last check-up. So our little girl isn't as little as she used to be!
She had three injections at this visit: boosters of the two catch-up vaccines that she got last time, plus chicken pox. She's not reacting nearly as badly to this set as she did to the last ones--a little whinier than usual, but no fever. Here's hoping she sleeps well tonight! She's already cried in her sleep twice, which is not a good sign. Sigh.
Esther has also grown an inch and a quarter since her last check-up. So our little girl isn't as little as she used to be!
She had three injections at this visit: boosters of the two catch-up vaccines that she got last time, plus chicken pox. She's not reacting nearly as badly to this set as she did to the last ones--a little whinier than usual, but no fever. Here's hoping she sleeps well tonight! She's already cried in her sleep twice, which is not a good sign. Sigh.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
growing
I've had several blog entries percolating in my mind since last week, but haven't quite gotten around to writing them. Little Miss Esther has taken to waking up at 6 AM every morning (occasionally earlier!), so I've been more tired than usual and trying to get in a nap during her naptime more often than usual.
Oh, my lyme disease titer came back negative. So I have no idea what that rash was about, but since it's mostly gone, it doesn't appear to be a matter of concern.
Esther has also taken to waking up at least once more nights than not. We're not sure what's waking her up, but...well, like I said, I've been tired lately! Last week I was reading the story of Jesus calming the storm, and when I got to the point where his disciples woke him up out of an exhausted sleep, scared and angry at him for not doing anything to protect them from the storm, I thought, I guess I'm in good company when I get woken up by the cries of someone who depends on me to make everything better!
It's been interesting to see how becoming a parent has affected my spiritual life. Last year we were discussing spiritual growth in our small group Bible study, and one parent of a toddler said she hadn't had time to grow spiritually because she was too busy and tired with work and parenting. (And we had a similar conversation with other close friends who have been deeply involved in the life of a friend of theirs who was going through a crisis.) Both times, I thought to myself that surely something must be going on inside of them while they were giving so much of themselves to serve others. Then a couple of weeks after we came home with Esther, I found myself sitting on my couch and wondering if I would ever have a spiritual life again, when I could barely keep my eyes open long enough to read a Psalm, let alone meditate on it, and whenever I set out to pray I would find myself instead planning what to feed Esther after she woke up. I know that God is just as present--if not more!--in the ordinary, absorbing task of raising a child as in any other life experience I've had, but it's a very different feeling from getting insights into God's ways through study or prayer. So, one of my birthday presents is going to be a book called Authentic Faith, by Gary Thomas, which talks about how God uses life experiences that we often don't choose or control to form us. I'll be interested to see if it sheds any light on my life now. (Tim says I'm supposed to forget about having ordered books, but how can I when the box from Amazon.com arrived yesterday and is sitting tantalizingly in our entryway??)
All that aside, remember that famous quote from Eric Liddell, when he said he felt God's pleasure when he ran? I feel God's pleasure when I care for my baby. It's not going to change very much of the world, but right now this is exactly what God is calling me to do. After all, Jesus took time out from doing more "important" things to hold babies and bless them. And Esther has her ministry to me, too. Of course, babies are very useful for making cracks in our carefully constructed self-image, and making us take a good look at how impatient and self-centered and unreasonably angered we are. But there's more than that. We've been taking Esther into the church service with us, where she usually falls asleep in her carrier. A few weeks ago we were singing a song which has the line "There's nothing made that was not made to show Your power," and I looked down at Esther and was just overwhelmed by the truth of that. How many times have I not been in awe of the One who made her so beautiful and complex? And how many times have I not been moved to gratitude for having her in my life? So...while there are some ways of relating to God that I've had to mostly set aside during this stage of my life, there are other ways where, in between the mundane moments of feeding, and cleaning, and waking in the night to walk in bleary-eyed circles through the living room, there are new moments of beauty and blessing. And I'm thankful for this gift.
Linette
Oh, my lyme disease titer came back negative. So I have no idea what that rash was about, but since it's mostly gone, it doesn't appear to be a matter of concern.
Esther has also taken to waking up at least once more nights than not. We're not sure what's waking her up, but...well, like I said, I've been tired lately! Last week I was reading the story of Jesus calming the storm, and when I got to the point where his disciples woke him up out of an exhausted sleep, scared and angry at him for not doing anything to protect them from the storm, I thought, I guess I'm in good company when I get woken up by the cries of someone who depends on me to make everything better!
It's been interesting to see how becoming a parent has affected my spiritual life. Last year we were discussing spiritual growth in our small group Bible study, and one parent of a toddler said she hadn't had time to grow spiritually because she was too busy and tired with work and parenting. (And we had a similar conversation with other close friends who have been deeply involved in the life of a friend of theirs who was going through a crisis.) Both times, I thought to myself that surely something must be going on inside of them while they were giving so much of themselves to serve others. Then a couple of weeks after we came home with Esther, I found myself sitting on my couch and wondering if I would ever have a spiritual life again, when I could barely keep my eyes open long enough to read a Psalm, let alone meditate on it, and whenever I set out to pray I would find myself instead planning what to feed Esther after she woke up. I know that God is just as present--if not more!--in the ordinary, absorbing task of raising a child as in any other life experience I've had, but it's a very different feeling from getting insights into God's ways through study or prayer. So, one of my birthday presents is going to be a book called Authentic Faith, by Gary Thomas, which talks about how God uses life experiences that we often don't choose or control to form us. I'll be interested to see if it sheds any light on my life now. (Tim says I'm supposed to forget about having ordered books, but how can I when the box from Amazon.com arrived yesterday and is sitting tantalizingly in our entryway??)
All that aside, remember that famous quote from Eric Liddell, when he said he felt God's pleasure when he ran? I feel God's pleasure when I care for my baby. It's not going to change very much of the world, but right now this is exactly what God is calling me to do. After all, Jesus took time out from doing more "important" things to hold babies and bless them. And Esther has her ministry to me, too. Of course, babies are very useful for making cracks in our carefully constructed self-image, and making us take a good look at how impatient and self-centered and unreasonably angered we are. But there's more than that. We've been taking Esther into the church service with us, where she usually falls asleep in her carrier. A few weeks ago we were singing a song which has the line "There's nothing made that was not made to show Your power," and I looked down at Esther and was just overwhelmed by the truth of that. How many times have I not been in awe of the One who made her so beautiful and complex? And how many times have I not been moved to gratitude for having her in my life? So...while there are some ways of relating to God that I've had to mostly set aside during this stage of my life, there are other ways where, in between the mundane moments of feeding, and cleaning, and waking in the night to walk in bleary-eyed circles through the living room, there are new moments of beauty and blessing. And I'm thankful for this gift.
Linette
Thursday, June 12, 2008
quick update on Esther
Esther seems to be weathering her sickness well. Ibuprofen evidently works better for her than acetominophen, so she has been reasonably cool and happy today as long as we keep her medicated. Last night she went through a period of time where she was her normal self even after the medicine had worn off. So at 2 AM she was cool as a cucumber and wanted a bottle--something she had adamantly refused for most of yesterday. The doctor told us that many kids with hand, foot and mouth disease don't want to eat anything, but for whatever reason Esther ate a lot better than she drank. I guess it takes an awful lot to spoil that child's appetite! She is both eating and drinking today.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
sick day
So, a few days ago--maybe Sunday night, but I can't remember for sure--I noticed a funny red patch on my thigh. I thought I must have bumped into something, although I couldn't remember the incident and that wasn't quite what the patch looked like. A day later it was still there, so I thought maybe there was a zit deep under my skin, although that also wasn't quite what the patch looked--or felt--like. Yesterday morning I noticed it again, and suddenly remembered that Maryland has a high incidence of lyme disease and Tim and I had gone for a long walk in prime deer tick territory a few weeks ago. The rash was/is very generic, consistent with a lyme rash but also consistent with various other causes of skin inflammation. However, given the possibility of exposure and the long-term nastiness of untreated lyme, I decided to make a doctor's appointment, which I did for 9:30 this morning.
That was me. Then there's Esther. After unusual fussiness and tiredness yesterday, she woke up twice in the night last night (also unusual), and the second time she most definitely had a fever. On the way to my doctor's appointment I took her temperature under the arm and it was 102.3 despite her being under the influence of acetominophen, so we called her doctor, too, and eventually got an appointment for 11:30. Turns out the poor baby has a probable case of hand, foot and mouth disease, though in her case her hands and feet aren't affected and she only has one little blister in the back of her throat--but it's probably giving her the dickens of a sore throat, and the fever isn't fun either. Since it's a virus, there's nothing to do for her but treat the symptoms and hope they go away fast. The doctor said she should be feeling better by Friday.
Meanwhile, Tim's mom wasn't feeling that great this morning either (although she's fine now). So out of the whole family, Tim was the only one today who was certifiably healthy! He took half a day off to watch Esther during my doctor's appointment and to go to hers. He's a caring daddy!
I doubt anyone wants me to illustrate this entry with pictures of Esther being cranky and lethargic, so instead I'll leave you with a few photos from the fateful hike on which I may (or may not) have provided free lunch for a tick.
Here's Esther before we began the walk, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and enthralled with her new view of the world.
This is what she looked like twenty minutes into the walk.
And this is what she looked like by the end!
That was me. Then there's Esther. After unusual fussiness and tiredness yesterday, she woke up twice in the night last night (also unusual), and the second time she most definitely had a fever. On the way to my doctor's appointment I took her temperature under the arm and it was 102.3 despite her being under the influence of acetominophen, so we called her doctor, too, and eventually got an appointment for 11:30. Turns out the poor baby has a probable case of hand, foot and mouth disease, though in her case her hands and feet aren't affected and she only has one little blister in the back of her throat--but it's probably giving her the dickens of a sore throat, and the fever isn't fun either. Since it's a virus, there's nothing to do for her but treat the symptoms and hope they go away fast. The doctor said she should be feeling better by Friday.
Meanwhile, Tim's mom wasn't feeling that great this morning either (although she's fine now). So out of the whole family, Tim was the only one today who was certifiably healthy! He took half a day off to watch Esther during my doctor's appointment and to go to hers. He's a caring daddy!
I doubt anyone wants me to illustrate this entry with pictures of Esther being cranky and lethargic, so instead I'll leave you with a few photos from the fateful hike on which I may (or may not) have provided free lunch for a tick.
Here's Esther before we began the walk, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and enthralled with her new view of the world.
This is what she looked like twenty minutes into the walk.
And this is what she looked like by the end!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
bedtime song
Esther likes me to sing to her, so sometimes when she's whiney or otherwise out of sorts I'll sing to her to try and make things go a little easier. One of the small trials of her life is getting dressed. It just requires too much time in one place! So here is the second verse of the song we sang as I was putting on her pajamas tonight, with her doing the relevant motions at the appropriate places:
I put your left leg in, you take your right leg out.
I put your right leg in, and you shake it all about.
You do the squirmy wormy and you turn yourself around:
That's what it's all about!
I put your left leg in, you take your right leg out.
I put your right leg in, and you shake it all about.
You do the squirmy wormy and you turn yourself around:
That's what it's all about!
Tales from the table (and a few other places)
First off, apologies for my long absence from the web. Things have been a little unusual around here! Tim's grandfather passed away a couple of weeks ago, not unexpectedly since he was over 100, but Tim went back to Arizona for the memorial service and brought his mom back here with him for a visit. So Esther and Grandma have been having fun together.
And now for Tales From the Table!
I think I've mentioned before that Esther likes to eat. Make that LOVES to eat! Since she's under doctor's orders to gain weight, I thought I'd count calories for a while and find out how much she was getting. Let's just say that I don't think weight gain is going to be difficult--or if it is, it will be because her genes tell her to be small, not because she's not eating enough. She averages 800-some calories a day (with wide variations), but on one noteworthy day my teeny-tiny baby girl consumed 1095 calories. 1095! That's more than half of what an ADULT female is supposed to be getting in a day! Admittedly, your typical adult female isn't growing and doesn't spend her day squirming, crawling throughout the house, and pulling up on anything that will support her weight (as well as a few things that can't), but still!
This is one of Esther's first attempts at finger foods, when she was still stuffing her fingers in her mouth along with the food.
"What do you think of my new goatee?"
"I hear avocado facials are all the rage this year!"
Now that Esther has decided that the food supply isn't drying up anytime soon (at least, I'm guessing that's the reason), she's beginning to get pickier. She still eats a lot, but foods that she couldn't get enough of when I first served them to her now are greeted with a whine and pushed out of her mouth. She also requires variety: at any one meal I have to alternate feeding her different foods if I want her to eat very much of any one thing, and I can't serve her the same food too many days in a row or she'll start to turn her nose up at it. But she still likes trying new foods, and she still eats a sufficient quantity to keep her doctor happy, so I don't have anything to complain about. Actually, I think the pickiness is probably a sign that she has a normal and healthy relationship with food for her age, which is not a bad thing, annoying as it can be to have to throw away a half portion of something that she wolfed down last week. I'm sure she'll get even pickier as she continues her journey into toddlerhood!
This is what happens when lunchtime comes too close to naptime.
As for the self-feeding, she has expanded her repertoire considerably, but it is still limited to things she can convey to her mouth with her fingers. This is what happened when I let her have the last little bit of cottage cheese in a bowl:
"I can't believe my good fortune!"
Um, Esther, I don't think you're going to get much food off of that end...
Then there's Esther's tendency to eat things that are not food. One day Tim let her play with a thin cardboard insert that came in a package. When I noticed her mouthing it and went to take it away, part of it had been bitten off. But her mouth was empty. Apparently she had chewed and swallowed it. So, for the moment, paper is very much on the no-no list at our house.
Esther the hillbilly, chewing on a blade of grass at the park.
Judging a book by its flavor.
And now for Tales From the Table!
I think I've mentioned before that Esther likes to eat. Make that LOVES to eat! Since she's under doctor's orders to gain weight, I thought I'd count calories for a while and find out how much she was getting. Let's just say that I don't think weight gain is going to be difficult--or if it is, it will be because her genes tell her to be small, not because she's not eating enough. She averages 800-some calories a day (with wide variations), but on one noteworthy day my teeny-tiny baby girl consumed 1095 calories. 1095! That's more than half of what an ADULT female is supposed to be getting in a day! Admittedly, your typical adult female isn't growing and doesn't spend her day squirming, crawling throughout the house, and pulling up on anything that will support her weight (as well as a few things that can't), but still!
This is one of Esther's first attempts at finger foods, when she was still stuffing her fingers in her mouth along with the food.
"What do you think of my new goatee?"
"I hear avocado facials are all the rage this year!"
Now that Esther has decided that the food supply isn't drying up anytime soon (at least, I'm guessing that's the reason), she's beginning to get pickier. She still eats a lot, but foods that she couldn't get enough of when I first served them to her now are greeted with a whine and pushed out of her mouth. She also requires variety: at any one meal I have to alternate feeding her different foods if I want her to eat very much of any one thing, and I can't serve her the same food too many days in a row or she'll start to turn her nose up at it. But she still likes trying new foods, and she still eats a sufficient quantity to keep her doctor happy, so I don't have anything to complain about. Actually, I think the pickiness is probably a sign that she has a normal and healthy relationship with food for her age, which is not a bad thing, annoying as it can be to have to throw away a half portion of something that she wolfed down last week. I'm sure she'll get even pickier as she continues her journey into toddlerhood!
This is what happens when lunchtime comes too close to naptime.As for the self-feeding, she has expanded her repertoire considerably, but it is still limited to things she can convey to her mouth with her fingers. This is what happened when I let her have the last little bit of cottage cheese in a bowl:
"I can't believe my good fortune!"
Um, Esther, I don't think you're going to get much food off of that end...Then there's Esther's tendency to eat things that are not food. One day Tim let her play with a thin cardboard insert that came in a package. When I noticed her mouthing it and went to take it away, part of it had been bitten off. But her mouth was empty. Apparently she had chewed and swallowed it. So, for the moment, paper is very much on the no-no list at our house.
Esther the hillbilly, chewing on a blade of grass at the park.
Judging a book by its flavor.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Pictures to go with forever family day post
Tim signing paperwork for the adoption during our visit to the Civil Affairs Office.
Wen Jia Si Di being held by one of her nannies.
Oh, my aching arms! Here I am holding sleeping Esther in the hotel lobby while Tim and our guide checked in.
Trying to nap with Esther in the Ergo.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
out-of-order update # 2 (finally!)--forever family day
The day of April 20th started early for us, as we left the hotel at 5:15 AM to catch an 8 AM flight. However, jetlag woke us up even earlier than we needed to be awake, as it had been doing ever since our arrival in Jinan. So we began our day with sleep deprivation. In addition, I had had a dry little cough ever since our first day in Jinan, which I had thought was a reaction to the pollution. By Sunday, however, I was congested enough to realize that I actually had a cold.
We didn't have any trouble getting to the airport on time, but the alert security staff caught us trying to sneak yet another potentially dangerous substance onto the airplane: a mysterious white powder (aka baby formula). So, for the second time in three days, I went through the routine of going back out through security to check our carry-on bag with its offending substance. (As someone pointed out later, it probably did seem a little strange that we had powdered baby formula but no baby.)
We discovered, en route, that the flight wasn't straight through to Kunming, but actually made a quick stop in Chongqing. We got a substantial snack on both legs, and this, in addition to the granola bars we had munched for breakfast, was all the food we ate that day until dinner. Neither of us slept much on the flights either, so you can imagine the shape we were in as we approached Kunming!
As we began our descent, I craned my neck around the passenger next to me to look out the window. I received an impression of very green mountains, terraced far up with rice paddies, and startlingly red earth. As we got closer to the city, I could see acres of construction sites: six-story apartment buildings, just like the outskirts of every other growing Chinese city. The air as we approached was turbulent, and I got the distinct impression that many of our fellow passengers were first-time fliers. At one point I heard a loud collective gasp as we lurched into a particularly dramatic air pocket, followed by exclamations and relieved laughter as the denser air at the bottom bore us up.
After getting our luggage, we were met by our guide (holding up a sign reading "Welcome Linette McDaniel family"), who whisked us off to our van. The driver's wife and preschool-aged daughter had accompanied him as far as the airport, and our guide mentioned that the little girl was adopted. That was interesting to me, since many Chinese still believe it's best not to tell small children that they're adopted.
We drove straight to the Civil Affairs office, an apartment which has been converted to office space. I actually didn't realize until just before we walked in that that was the place; I thought we were making an intermediate stop. We asked Leo, our guide, if he would be willing to video our first meeting, and he agreed, but then when we walked in she was right there, being held by a nanny. One other woman and two other men were also there with Esther Si Di. (One of the men was a director of the orphanage and the other I assume was the driver; I'm not sure who the other woman was.) I didn't recognize Esther at all, but I knew she must be the one because she was the only baby in there. By that point, between exhaustion and the shock of suddenly coming face-to-face with a new family member, I was pretty dazed. I had thought that they would hand her to us right away, but it seemed that we had to sign some papers first. So we took turns signing papers and interacting with Esther while her nanny held her. I felt pretty awkward interacting with her, because I wasn't sure what she would think of us and I was conscious of all the interested eyes on us. Once when I smiled at Esther she smiled back, and the orphanage staff exclaimed, "She likes her!" At some point I handed over the photos of two Kaiyuan alumni that their parents had entrusted to me to deliver to the staff. The nannies and director looked through them with interest and discussed which children the photos were of. (I didn't have their names written in Chinese characters, so there was some confusion, but I think they finally got it figured out.) When Tim and I were both busy signing papers, Esther's nanny talked to her and bounced her on her hip, and I could hear Esther laughing. It was clear that they liked each other and had a good relationship, which made me feel good about the care Esther had been getting in her Social Welfare Institute.
Finally Esther's nanny handed her to me, without much warning. Esther didn't act at all bothered about being handed off to a stranger, although she wasn't thrilled either, just seemed to take it in stride. I pulled her stuffed giraffe toy out of the diaper bag and tried to interest her in it, but she wasn't very interested. The director asked me (in English), "You like? You like?" I thought, "Duh, I didn't do mountains of expensive paperwork, wait 13 months and travel halfway around the world to NOT like her!" but I just said yes. Then we had to do more paperwork--we took turns holding her--and then suddenly our guide said that the Kaiyuan folks hadn't had any lunch yet so why didn't we finish our paperwork tomorrow when we came back to sign the final adoption papers. So, as abruptly as that, everyone Esther knew walked out the door, leaving her with us. She got very solemn, but still didn't cry.
In the van on the way to our hotel, I sat with Esther in my lap and Tim sat next to us. Esther grabbed his thumb and held on tight while she looked out the window. I could see her little eyeballs going back and forth as she watched the scenery go by. I stroked her head and was surprised by how coarse her hair felt compared to the baby hair of my siblings. (But now her hair is soft and smooth, so maybe it was just the shampoo they used?) When she started to fuss I pulled out her giraffe again and she sucked on its horn for a few minutes, but still didn't want to play. By now she was hanging on to Tim's thumb with one hand and my finger with the other. Then I tried to distract her by pointing out the things we could see out of the window. That sort of worked, but in the end she fussed herself to sleep in my arms.
Esther didn't wake up when I climbed out of the van at our hotel, so I held her sleeping in my progressively more aching arms as we checked in, ordered a crib, and got all of our luggage up to our sixth-floor room. There I laid her ever-so-gently on the bed, where she promptly woke up and started wailing. She got up on hands and knees, laid her head on the bed, and rocked back and forth, crying, with her head turned away from me. Every once in a while she would turn her head to glare at me, then look the other way again. After some time (looking back I'm guessing it wasn't a very long time, but it sure seemed like it) I concluded that she wasn't making any progress towards going to sleep. The director had told me (when I asked) that she hadn't taken her noon nap, and I knew from the schedule they had given us that she normally slept from 12-2, so I knew she must be tired. My poor arms had had enough carrying for the day, so I put her in the Ergo carrier and walked up and down with her until she fell asleep again. Then I lay down on the bed, Ergo and all. I wasn't going to risk waking her up this time! I was so tired myself that I closed my eyes and ignored the rest of the world, even the staff who came tiptoeing and giggling into the room to set up the crib. I didn't manage to fall asleep, but I stayed there for an hour or so while Esther got some semblance of a nap.
And since this entry is getting pretty long, I think I'll save the narrative of the rest of the day for another entry.
Linette
We didn't have any trouble getting to the airport on time, but the alert security staff caught us trying to sneak yet another potentially dangerous substance onto the airplane: a mysterious white powder (aka baby formula). So, for the second time in three days, I went through the routine of going back out through security to check our carry-on bag with its offending substance. (As someone pointed out later, it probably did seem a little strange that we had powdered baby formula but no baby.)
We discovered, en route, that the flight wasn't straight through to Kunming, but actually made a quick stop in Chongqing. We got a substantial snack on both legs, and this, in addition to the granola bars we had munched for breakfast, was all the food we ate that day until dinner. Neither of us slept much on the flights either, so you can imagine the shape we were in as we approached Kunming!
As we began our descent, I craned my neck around the passenger next to me to look out the window. I received an impression of very green mountains, terraced far up with rice paddies, and startlingly red earth. As we got closer to the city, I could see acres of construction sites: six-story apartment buildings, just like the outskirts of every other growing Chinese city. The air as we approached was turbulent, and I got the distinct impression that many of our fellow passengers were first-time fliers. At one point I heard a loud collective gasp as we lurched into a particularly dramatic air pocket, followed by exclamations and relieved laughter as the denser air at the bottom bore us up.
After getting our luggage, we were met by our guide (holding up a sign reading "Welcome Linette McDaniel family"), who whisked us off to our van. The driver's wife and preschool-aged daughter had accompanied him as far as the airport, and our guide mentioned that the little girl was adopted. That was interesting to me, since many Chinese still believe it's best not to tell small children that they're adopted.
We drove straight to the Civil Affairs office, an apartment which has been converted to office space. I actually didn't realize until just before we walked in that that was the place; I thought we were making an intermediate stop. We asked Leo, our guide, if he would be willing to video our first meeting, and he agreed, but then when we walked in she was right there, being held by a nanny. One other woman and two other men were also there with Esther Si Di. (One of the men was a director of the orphanage and the other I assume was the driver; I'm not sure who the other woman was.) I didn't recognize Esther at all, but I knew she must be the one because she was the only baby in there. By that point, between exhaustion and the shock of suddenly coming face-to-face with a new family member, I was pretty dazed. I had thought that they would hand her to us right away, but it seemed that we had to sign some papers first. So we took turns signing papers and interacting with Esther while her nanny held her. I felt pretty awkward interacting with her, because I wasn't sure what she would think of us and I was conscious of all the interested eyes on us. Once when I smiled at Esther she smiled back, and the orphanage staff exclaimed, "She likes her!" At some point I handed over the photos of two Kaiyuan alumni that their parents had entrusted to me to deliver to the staff. The nannies and director looked through them with interest and discussed which children the photos were of. (I didn't have their names written in Chinese characters, so there was some confusion, but I think they finally got it figured out.) When Tim and I were both busy signing papers, Esther's nanny talked to her and bounced her on her hip, and I could hear Esther laughing. It was clear that they liked each other and had a good relationship, which made me feel good about the care Esther had been getting in her Social Welfare Institute.
Finally Esther's nanny handed her to me, without much warning. Esther didn't act at all bothered about being handed off to a stranger, although she wasn't thrilled either, just seemed to take it in stride. I pulled her stuffed giraffe toy out of the diaper bag and tried to interest her in it, but she wasn't very interested. The director asked me (in English), "You like? You like?" I thought, "Duh, I didn't do mountains of expensive paperwork, wait 13 months and travel halfway around the world to NOT like her!" but I just said yes. Then we had to do more paperwork--we took turns holding her--and then suddenly our guide said that the Kaiyuan folks hadn't had any lunch yet so why didn't we finish our paperwork tomorrow when we came back to sign the final adoption papers. So, as abruptly as that, everyone Esther knew walked out the door, leaving her with us. She got very solemn, but still didn't cry.
In the van on the way to our hotel, I sat with Esther in my lap and Tim sat next to us. Esther grabbed his thumb and held on tight while she looked out the window. I could see her little eyeballs going back and forth as she watched the scenery go by. I stroked her head and was surprised by how coarse her hair felt compared to the baby hair of my siblings. (But now her hair is soft and smooth, so maybe it was just the shampoo they used?) When she started to fuss I pulled out her giraffe again and she sucked on its horn for a few minutes, but still didn't want to play. By now she was hanging on to Tim's thumb with one hand and my finger with the other. Then I tried to distract her by pointing out the things we could see out of the window. That sort of worked, but in the end she fussed herself to sleep in my arms.
Esther didn't wake up when I climbed out of the van at our hotel, so I held her sleeping in my progressively more aching arms as we checked in, ordered a crib, and got all of our luggage up to our sixth-floor room. There I laid her ever-so-gently on the bed, where she promptly woke up and started wailing. She got up on hands and knees, laid her head on the bed, and rocked back and forth, crying, with her head turned away from me. Every once in a while she would turn her head to glare at me, then look the other way again. After some time (looking back I'm guessing it wasn't a very long time, but it sure seemed like it) I concluded that she wasn't making any progress towards going to sleep. The director had told me (when I asked) that she hadn't taken her noon nap, and I knew from the schedule they had given us that she normally slept from 12-2, so I knew she must be tired. My poor arms had had enough carrying for the day, so I put her in the Ergo carrier and walked up and down with her until she fell asleep again. Then I lay down on the bed, Ergo and all. I wasn't going to risk waking her up this time! I was so tired myself that I closed my eyes and ignored the rest of the world, even the staff who came tiptoeing and giggling into the room to set up the crib. I didn't manage to fall asleep, but I stayed there for an hour or so while Esther got some semblance of a nap.
And since this entry is getting pretty long, I think I'll save the narrative of the rest of the day for another entry.
Linette
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Oh, baby! What can I do?
There is a song that was popular when I was in high school that had the title line as part of its refrain. I've been hearing that line in my head a lot the last couple of days!
Yesterday we went to the doctor for Esther's first American physical. She checked out fine except for her weight, which we already knew was off the bottom of the chart. (She is 27 inches long and weighs 14 pounds, 8 oz.) The pediatrician didn't think there was any great cause for concern about her weight as long as she gains well from now on, but recommended that we feed her formula three or four times a day instead of the one nighttime feeding she has been getting, in addition to the solid foods she normally eats, so that we can up her calories. Esther is a huge fan of her bottle, so I'll don't think the new regime will be difficult to implement. (However, I may need to give her smaller feedings--last night she had an eight-ounce bottle before bed and another in the middle of the night, and she completely soaked her diaper and needed her pajamas changed both at her nighttime feeding and when she got up in the morning.) After her session with the doctor, Esther got two injections and a tuberculosis skin test. She did not, of course, enjoy the experience, but she was mostly in a better mood by the time we came home and put her in her crib for a much-needed nap. An hour and a half later, she woke up VERY unhappy. She cried unless I carried her, and screamed when I offered her baby food, even sitting in my lap (she did, at least, consent to drink a bottle). I thought it was probably a reaction to the vaccines, but couldn't check the paperwork the doctor had given us while I was carrying and comforting my poor baby. (This is when that song started running through my head!) I have seldom been so glad to see Tim come home! (And once again, I'm SO grateful that I'm not a single mother! Hats off to women who have to do this on their own, but it sure is easier with a teammate!) So Tim carried Esther and got her calmed down a little bit while I got a couple things organized. We were finally able to get most of a jar of baby food into her by turning on a baby Mozart video and letting her zone out in front of it while she absent-mindedly opened her mouth for the spoon. Then we gave her an early bath (which inspired some smiles!) and put her to bed. This morning she woke up fussy again, with a fever, and very ambivalent about eating--she acted like she was hungry, but then would start wailing after a few bites. It did make me realize how out-of-sorts she must have felt our first few days together, because her behavior this morning when she was feeling so bad physically was very similar to her behavior then. Poor baby! After a dose of baby acetaminophen and a very long morning nap, she woke up feeling some better and wanting to eat. She just woke up now from a two-hour afternoon nap and she seems to feel fine. Yay! Unfortunately she still needs to get three more doses of these shots. So I guess we'll be going through this at least three more times! She also has a bunch of labwork she needs to get done in the next few days. I'm not looking forward to that, either...
Linette
Yesterday we went to the doctor for Esther's first American physical. She checked out fine except for her weight, which we already knew was off the bottom of the chart. (She is 27 inches long and weighs 14 pounds, 8 oz.) The pediatrician didn't think there was any great cause for concern about her weight as long as she gains well from now on, but recommended that we feed her formula three or four times a day instead of the one nighttime feeding she has been getting, in addition to the solid foods she normally eats, so that we can up her calories. Esther is a huge fan of her bottle, so I'll don't think the new regime will be difficult to implement. (However, I may need to give her smaller feedings--last night she had an eight-ounce bottle before bed and another in the middle of the night, and she completely soaked her diaper and needed her pajamas changed both at her nighttime feeding and when she got up in the morning.) After her session with the doctor, Esther got two injections and a tuberculosis skin test. She did not, of course, enjoy the experience, but she was mostly in a better mood by the time we came home and put her in her crib for a much-needed nap. An hour and a half later, she woke up VERY unhappy. She cried unless I carried her, and screamed when I offered her baby food, even sitting in my lap (she did, at least, consent to drink a bottle). I thought it was probably a reaction to the vaccines, but couldn't check the paperwork the doctor had given us while I was carrying and comforting my poor baby. (This is when that song started running through my head!) I have seldom been so glad to see Tim come home! (And once again, I'm SO grateful that I'm not a single mother! Hats off to women who have to do this on their own, but it sure is easier with a teammate!) So Tim carried Esther and got her calmed down a little bit while I got a couple things organized. We were finally able to get most of a jar of baby food into her by turning on a baby Mozart video and letting her zone out in front of it while she absent-mindedly opened her mouth for the spoon. Then we gave her an early bath (which inspired some smiles!) and put her to bed. This morning she woke up fussy again, with a fever, and very ambivalent about eating--she acted like she was hungry, but then would start wailing after a few bites. It did make me realize how out-of-sorts she must have felt our first few days together, because her behavior this morning when she was feeling so bad physically was very similar to her behavior then. Poor baby! After a dose of baby acetaminophen and a very long morning nap, she woke up feeling some better and wanting to eat. She just woke up now from a two-hour afternoon nap and she seems to feel fine. Yay! Unfortunately she still needs to get three more doses of these shots. So I guess we'll be going through this at least three more times! She also has a bunch of labwork she needs to get done in the next few days. I'm not looking forward to that, either...
Linette
photo bloopers
Esther's arrival is going to be announced in church on Sunday, both in the bulletin and on the screens during the announcement time. So we had to choose a picture to send in for her announcement. We really like the one of her laughing at Daddy (posted in an earlier entry), but I didn't think it was appropriate for a formal portrait to feature a purple sock behind her left ear. So last week we had a big photo shoot to try and get a good announcement picture. We didn't quite manage to get the picture we were hoping for, but we got some hilarious outtakes. The following are my favorites:
This family portrait is the picture we finally chose. Don't we look happy together?? :-)
This family portrait is the picture we finally chose. Don't we look happy together?? :-)
Friday, May 16, 2008
recent developments
I'm not sure how long I'll have to type before little one wakes up from her nap, but it's been so long since I wrote anything that I thought I'd at least try for a short post.
First of all, thanks everyone for your comments! We didn't get to read them until we got home from China, but we really enjoyed seeing what everyone had to say.
Esther is pursuing new gross-motor skills with single-minded passion. She now crawls with confidence, pulls herself up to a standing position, balances in a standing position while holding on with one hand or leaning her tummy against something, and (her latest accomplishment) collapses from a standing position into a sitting one instead of falling straight backwards. A few days after we got home, I tried her in her little chair at the table for the first time (instead of buying a high chair, which takes up a lot of space and keeps the child somewhat separate from the table, we had bought a little seat that hooks on to the table). I wasn't sure if she would be able to sit up in it, since she wasn't sitting very competently when we got her, or if she would tolerate being strapped in, but lo and behold she loved it! I gave Esther some chunks of ricecake (not the fried kind that the McDaniel clan like for breakfast, but the puffed-rice kind that you can buy in a grocery store) and she happily gnawed on the parts that stuck out of her fist while allowing us to eat our dinners simultaneously and in peace. What a lovely moment! For the first couple of days she would stick her whole fist in her mouth and cry when she tasted fingers instead of ricecake. After that she figured out how to open her fist against her mouth to shove the ricecake in, and once that skill was mastered, she easily transferred it to Cheerios. Now that she can get a whole fistful of food in her mouth at once, I have to give her smaller pieces of ricecake, and only one at a time, because she wants to shovel everything in at one go. We've also discovered that small cubes of tofu make excellent finger food. She still has eaten everything that we've given her, but I think we finally discovered a food she didn't like. When we gave her some little cubes of soft cheese she ate several, but she ate them very slowly and made a funny face after each one. And she left several uneaten, which is unusual for her.
Esther is now sleeping well at night (waking up once for a bottle), and has started (usually) falling asleep without crying about it. Maybe that's what the orphanage meant when they said she had good sleeping habits? I had thought they meant that she was a sound sleeper, which she is. It's not clear yet whether she needs two naps a day or just one; she goes back and forth about it.
She pretty much stopped babbling the first week we were back, but the last few days she's been babbling again with a vengeance. She'll even whine in syllables! I don't know if she was so busy working on standing that other skills fell by the wayside, or whether she was reacting to the change in language environment, or what. But it's fun to hear her "talking" again.
There are certain things that Esther isn't allowed to do--like grab Daddy's glasses, pull Mommy's hair, stand up against the glass door to the VCR cabinet, or hold the spoon I'm using to feed her--but for the most part we've just been physically restraining or removing her from whatever she isn't supposed to do. So last night was, for me, our first real experience of discipline. We've been bathing her in her inflatable duck tub inside the big bathtub, and last night she decided she wanted to pull herself up on the side of the big bathtub and stand up in her bath. That's something I REALLY don't want her to do and I want her to know that she's not allowed to do it. So I put her back into a sitting position, looked her in the eyes, and said sternly, "No!" And repeated the process several times as she kept trying to stand up. The first few times I told her no, she grinned adorably. When she finally figured out what I meant, she whimpered a bit, but then moved on to another activity. I'm sure we'll repeat this whole procedure for several baths to come, but I hope eventually she'll internalize the fact that she may not stand up in her bath. At least I'm pretty sure she got the message!
Speaking of whimpering, I just heard a little noise from her crib, so I think I'll sign off here and get ready for naptime to be over.
Linette
First of all, thanks everyone for your comments! We didn't get to read them until we got home from China, but we really enjoyed seeing what everyone had to say.
Esther is pursuing new gross-motor skills with single-minded passion. She now crawls with confidence, pulls herself up to a standing position, balances in a standing position while holding on with one hand or leaning her tummy against something, and (her latest accomplishment) collapses from a standing position into a sitting one instead of falling straight backwards. A few days after we got home, I tried her in her little chair at the table for the first time (instead of buying a high chair, which takes up a lot of space and keeps the child somewhat separate from the table, we had bought a little seat that hooks on to the table). I wasn't sure if she would be able to sit up in it, since she wasn't sitting very competently when we got her, or if she would tolerate being strapped in, but lo and behold she loved it! I gave Esther some chunks of ricecake (not the fried kind that the McDaniel clan like for breakfast, but the puffed-rice kind that you can buy in a grocery store) and she happily gnawed on the parts that stuck out of her fist while allowing us to eat our dinners simultaneously and in peace. What a lovely moment! For the first couple of days she would stick her whole fist in her mouth and cry when she tasted fingers instead of ricecake. After that she figured out how to open her fist against her mouth to shove the ricecake in, and once that skill was mastered, she easily transferred it to Cheerios. Now that she can get a whole fistful of food in her mouth at once, I have to give her smaller pieces of ricecake, and only one at a time, because she wants to shovel everything in at one go. We've also discovered that small cubes of tofu make excellent finger food. She still has eaten everything that we've given her, but I think we finally discovered a food she didn't like. When we gave her some little cubes of soft cheese she ate several, but she ate them very slowly and made a funny face after each one. And she left several uneaten, which is unusual for her.
Esther is now sleeping well at night (waking up once for a bottle), and has started (usually) falling asleep without crying about it. Maybe that's what the orphanage meant when they said she had good sleeping habits? I had thought they meant that she was a sound sleeper, which she is. It's not clear yet whether she needs two naps a day or just one; she goes back and forth about it.
She pretty much stopped babbling the first week we were back, but the last few days she's been babbling again with a vengeance. She'll even whine in syllables! I don't know if she was so busy working on standing that other skills fell by the wayside, or whether she was reacting to the change in language environment, or what. But it's fun to hear her "talking" again.
There are certain things that Esther isn't allowed to do--like grab Daddy's glasses, pull Mommy's hair, stand up against the glass door to the VCR cabinet, or hold the spoon I'm using to feed her--but for the most part we've just been physically restraining or removing her from whatever she isn't supposed to do. So last night was, for me, our first real experience of discipline. We've been bathing her in her inflatable duck tub inside the big bathtub, and last night she decided she wanted to pull herself up on the side of the big bathtub and stand up in her bath. That's something I REALLY don't want her to do and I want her to know that she's not allowed to do it. So I put her back into a sitting position, looked her in the eyes, and said sternly, "No!" And repeated the process several times as she kept trying to stand up. The first few times I told her no, she grinned adorably. When she finally figured out what I meant, she whimpered a bit, but then moved on to another activity. I'm sure we'll repeat this whole procedure for several baths to come, but I hope eventually she'll internalize the fact that she may not stand up in her bath. At least I'm pretty sure she got the message!
Speaking of whimpering, I just heard a little noise from her crib, so I think I'll sign off here and get ready for naptime to be over.
Linette
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Out of order update # 1: Jinan
I'm finally getting around to narrating our trip, before I forget all the details! So in this post I'll write about the first few days of our trip, before Esther.
Arriving back in Jinan felt, in some ways, like coming home. I'm so glad we got to live there! Nonetheless, there were some things that I had forgotten about living in China, or that struck me with fresh force.
I had forgotten the intensity of the smells, both good and bad. As we walked past a sewer grating near the apartments where we used to live, I suddenly remembered how I had gotten accustomed to holding my breath in certain strategic places, without actually thinking about it. Of course I had gotten out of the habit, so maybe that's why the smells seemed so strong!
I had forgotten how alert one has to be when crossing the street. I was actually a little unnerved for the first half a day, and then I got back into the swing of things. As we were walking home from dinner our first evening in Jinan, a motorcyclist sped unexpectedly through the small gap between us and the sidewalk that we were about to set foot on, and I barely blinked.
I had forgotten what it felt like to stick out like a sore thumb. Again, though, after our first half a day I stopped noticing that people were staring at me.
Somewhat to my surprise, I didn't have any trouble readjusting to the density of people. The crowds in the supermarket didn't bother me at all. This was probably the hardest thing for me to adjust to when we first got to China, so I guess in that way I've changed permanently.
I hadn't forgotten how good Shandong food is. When we came down to breakfast the first morning and saw the breakfast buffet lined with celery in white sauce, peanuts with salty lotus root, and other foods I hadn't tasted since returned to the U.S., I was ecstatic! One of the things we really enjoyed about our Jinan stay was eating!
And, most importantly, we hadn't forgotten how much we enjoy being with all our friends in Jinan. Three days felt far too short to spend time with the people we value.
Our first day we mostly spent with our foreign friends in Jinan. It was SO NICE to be able to talk to them in person, to ask questions that we wouldn't ask over e-mail, and to find out how things are really going. And everyone is doing so well! It was a real delight to hear their stories of this past year. We were especially pleased to hear that several of our acquaintances who had been interested in studying the Bible last year have now become believers. In the afternoon we joined the Christian foreign teachers for their regular prayer time. We were really touched by their prayers for Esther. I remember thinking at one point, "With all the people around the world who are praying for her, how could she not do well?" (And indeed, she is doing very well!) Afterwards, we went out to dinner with a number of the foreign teachers, also a regular Thursday tradition. Unbeknownst to us, the dinner was also a baby shower! The Wrights brought pink heart-shaped balloons and a yummy cake, and we were given (as a group gift) a number of children's books with pinyin (Chinese written in the Roman alphabet, so we can actually read it!), two outfits (one red with traditional Chinese designs, and one with pink bunnies and the logo "When you have a special riend[sic]"), a traditional red envelope with money in it, and a card signed by everyone. What a special surprise! We have already been very grateful in a practical way for the two outfits--based on the weather forecasts before we came to China I had brought mostly warm-weather outfits for Esther, and then ended up needing to keep her in long sleeves most of the trip, so the two extra sets of warmer clothes were exactly what I needed for her!
If I were writing a separate post for our second day in Jinan, I would label it "Adventures in Missing the Appointment." Having lugged our computer all the way to China because we knew our hotel had internet, we couldn't get our computer to communicate with the hotel's system. The Wrights were kind enough to let us drop in to their apartment and use their computer anytime, but of course we didn't want to drop in when we were wide awake at four in the morning. So at one point I had told a former student of mine that I would be free before nine AM, but then I needed to check my e-mail to find out whether I was going to meet with one of my classes at nine AM. So when Margaret made a special trip over to the old campus to meet us at our hotel, I was over at the Wrights checking my e-mail. :-( And the contact person for the class I thought I was going to meet at nine hadn't gotten my e-mail at all. There were plenty of other mix-ups too, like the time I was trying to meet the sophomore business English class during their break, and the student I was with from another class called the junior business English class, who happened to be in the same building at the same time, to tell them I was on my way to meet them! Anyway, in the end I managed to see at least a few students from most of my classes, though many of the meetings were all too brief. It was especially fun catching up with the students who are seniors this year and finding out what they're going to be doing next year. Esther Si Di was, of course, a main topic of conversation, but Tibet and the Olympics also came up several times. I thought one student put it well when he said, "Maybe the government was wrong to be so secretive about what is going on in Tibet, but the Olympics belongs to the common people, not the government, and they feel hurt that other nations want to boycott it." It always fascinates me how each class (in the Chinese system every university students belongs to a class, and students in this class take most of their courses together, recreate together, and often live together, so they form very significant relationships) has its own personality. One class waxed nostalgic about how my visit reminded them of their carefree days as freshmen, while another class wanted to compare inflation in China and the U.S. and learn more about the subprime mortgage crisis. I wish I had had more time to spend with all of them!
We also spent time with other Chinese friends. Again, it was so much nicer to catch up with their lives in person than over e-mail! I spent one afternoon with Poppy, looking at her pictures, updating our blog in her dorm room, and going shopping. She helped me pick out some Chinese children's music for Esther, and then bought it for her as a gift! I have been played the CDs for her the last few days, and she seems to like them. I mostly don't understand the songs, but I can catch a word here and there. I also bought some baby formula to take with us to Kunming, and some Shanxi vinegar to bring back with us to the U.S.! That is the kind of vinegar most prized in Shandong, so we had developed a taste for it, but we can't find any to buy here. I had been going to look for CDs with several Chinese pop songs that we like, but I forgot. On Friday night we had dinner with Tim's colleague Zhaojun and his wife (their son was busy preparing for an English competition), and then on Saturday we went over to their house for a while before coming back to our hotel to meet several other friends. On Saturday night Poppy and her boyfriend took us out to hotpot for dinner. We had a nice time, and enjoyed meeting Wang Bing properly.
I could write in more detail, but I suppose that at this point the details are far more interesting to me than to anyone else! And anyway, it's late, and my little alarm clock is likely to be up at six in the morning if not earlier. So I'd better leave the description of our Jinan trip as it stands and go to bed!
Linette
Arriving back in Jinan felt, in some ways, like coming home. I'm so glad we got to live there! Nonetheless, there were some things that I had forgotten about living in China, or that struck me with fresh force.
I had forgotten the intensity of the smells, both good and bad. As we walked past a sewer grating near the apartments where we used to live, I suddenly remembered how I had gotten accustomed to holding my breath in certain strategic places, without actually thinking about it. Of course I had gotten out of the habit, so maybe that's why the smells seemed so strong!
I had forgotten how alert one has to be when crossing the street. I was actually a little unnerved for the first half a day, and then I got back into the swing of things. As we were walking home from dinner our first evening in Jinan, a motorcyclist sped unexpectedly through the small gap between us and the sidewalk that we were about to set foot on, and I barely blinked.
I had forgotten what it felt like to stick out like a sore thumb. Again, though, after our first half a day I stopped noticing that people were staring at me.
Somewhat to my surprise, I didn't have any trouble readjusting to the density of people. The crowds in the supermarket didn't bother me at all. This was probably the hardest thing for me to adjust to when we first got to China, so I guess in that way I've changed permanently.
I hadn't forgotten how good Shandong food is. When we came down to breakfast the first morning and saw the breakfast buffet lined with celery in white sauce, peanuts with salty lotus root, and other foods I hadn't tasted since returned to the U.S., I was ecstatic! One of the things we really enjoyed about our Jinan stay was eating!
And, most importantly, we hadn't forgotten how much we enjoy being with all our friends in Jinan. Three days felt far too short to spend time with the people we value.
Our first day we mostly spent with our foreign friends in Jinan. It was SO NICE to be able to talk to them in person, to ask questions that we wouldn't ask over e-mail, and to find out how things are really going. And everyone is doing so well! It was a real delight to hear their stories of this past year. We were especially pleased to hear that several of our acquaintances who had been interested in studying the Bible last year have now become believers. In the afternoon we joined the Christian foreign teachers for their regular prayer time. We were really touched by their prayers for Esther. I remember thinking at one point, "With all the people around the world who are praying for her, how could she not do well?" (And indeed, she is doing very well!) Afterwards, we went out to dinner with a number of the foreign teachers, also a regular Thursday tradition. Unbeknownst to us, the dinner was also a baby shower! The Wrights brought pink heart-shaped balloons and a yummy cake, and we were given (as a group gift) a number of children's books with pinyin (Chinese written in the Roman alphabet, so we can actually read it!), two outfits (one red with traditional Chinese designs, and one with pink bunnies and the logo "When you have a special riend[sic]"), a traditional red envelope with money in it, and a card signed by everyone. What a special surprise! We have already been very grateful in a practical way for the two outfits--based on the weather forecasts before we came to China I had brought mostly warm-weather outfits for Esther, and then ended up needing to keep her in long sleeves most of the trip, so the two extra sets of warmer clothes were exactly what I needed for her!
If I were writing a separate post for our second day in Jinan, I would label it "Adventures in Missing the Appointment." Having lugged our computer all the way to China because we knew our hotel had internet, we couldn't get our computer to communicate with the hotel's system. The Wrights were kind enough to let us drop in to their apartment and use their computer anytime, but of course we didn't want to drop in when we were wide awake at four in the morning. So at one point I had told a former student of mine that I would be free before nine AM, but then I needed to check my e-mail to find out whether I was going to meet with one of my classes at nine AM. So when Margaret made a special trip over to the old campus to meet us at our hotel, I was over at the Wrights checking my e-mail. :-( And the contact person for the class I thought I was going to meet at nine hadn't gotten my e-mail at all. There were plenty of other mix-ups too, like the time I was trying to meet the sophomore business English class during their break, and the student I was with from another class called the junior business English class, who happened to be in the same building at the same time, to tell them I was on my way to meet them! Anyway, in the end I managed to see at least a few students from most of my classes, though many of the meetings were all too brief. It was especially fun catching up with the students who are seniors this year and finding out what they're going to be doing next year. Esther Si Di was, of course, a main topic of conversation, but Tibet and the Olympics also came up several times. I thought one student put it well when he said, "Maybe the government was wrong to be so secretive about what is going on in Tibet, but the Olympics belongs to the common people, not the government, and they feel hurt that other nations want to boycott it." It always fascinates me how each class (in the Chinese system every university students belongs to a class, and students in this class take most of their courses together, recreate together, and often live together, so they form very significant relationships) has its own personality. One class waxed nostalgic about how my visit reminded them of their carefree days as freshmen, while another class wanted to compare inflation in China and the U.S. and learn more about the subprime mortgage crisis. I wish I had had more time to spend with all of them!
We also spent time with other Chinese friends. Again, it was so much nicer to catch up with their lives in person than over e-mail! I spent one afternoon with Poppy, looking at her pictures, updating our blog in her dorm room, and going shopping. She helped me pick out some Chinese children's music for Esther, and then bought it for her as a gift! I have been played the CDs for her the last few days, and she seems to like them. I mostly don't understand the songs, but I can catch a word here and there. I also bought some baby formula to take with us to Kunming, and some Shanxi vinegar to bring back with us to the U.S.! That is the kind of vinegar most prized in Shandong, so we had developed a taste for it, but we can't find any to buy here. I had been going to look for CDs with several Chinese pop songs that we like, but I forgot. On Friday night we had dinner with Tim's colleague Zhaojun and his wife (their son was busy preparing for an English competition), and then on Saturday we went over to their house for a while before coming back to our hotel to meet several other friends. On Saturday night Poppy and her boyfriend took us out to hotpot for dinner. We had a nice time, and enjoyed meeting Wang Bing properly.
I could write in more detail, but I suppose that at this point the details are far more interesting to me than to anyone else! And anyway, it's late, and my little alarm clock is likely to be up at six in the morning if not earlier. So I'd better leave the description of our Jinan trip as it stands and go to bed!
Linette
More pictures!
Laughing at Daddy.
Chewing on a plastic lid--this is one of her favorite "toys" right now.
"Oooh, Mom, can I hold that for a minute??"
Tim says this picture doesn't like like her--and I suppose it doesn't, because of the angle--but I think it's sure cute!
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Pictures!
I've figured out how to post pictures! I'll just post a few for now, since it's late and I'm tired. But these will give you a taste of what Esther looks like!
This is Wen Jia Si Di with her nanny shortly before they gave her to us. Notice how much more hair she has than in her referral picture! We didn't recognize her. Also note that she looks happy--we didn't see that kind of expression too often during our first days together, although she would have brief periods of grinning and giggling.
Here is Daddy giving Esther a bottle, several days later.
Smiles were rare the first few days, but Jasmine Lee got one out of her!
Esther really wanted to help hold the umbrella.
This is Wen Jia Si Di with her nanny shortly before they gave her to us. Notice how much more hair she has than in her referral picture! We didn't recognize her. Also note that she looks happy--we didn't see that kind of expression too often during our first days together, although she would have brief periods of grinning and giggling.
Here is Daddy giving Esther a bottle, several days later.
Smiles were rare the first few days, but Jasmine Lee got one out of her!
Esther really wanted to help hold the umbrella.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
hell hath no fury like a baby whose food is "all gone"
Well, things are settling down around here. Esther has been sleeping less during the day and more at night; Tim was feeling well enough this morning to go into work (although he still has a nasty cough and a sore throat); and I actually managed to run a load of dishes and a load of laundry this afternoon! Maybe I'll be able to function as a stay-at-home mom after all!
One of my goals upon returning to the U.S. was to get Esther on a more nutritious diet. In China, I figured as long as I filled her tummy at the right times, it wouldn't matter if she missed a few nutrients for two weeks. (We did give her some table food, which she really liked, but with our erratic schedule and frequent changes of location, it was hard to consistently supplement her bottles of formula and rice cereal.) Esther's referral information had included the line, "When she sees food, she wants to eat." We decided in China that it should have read, "When she sees food, she cries until you give it to her"! It took until the end of our stay there before she could anticipate a bottle without crying about it. Now she usually doesn't cry, but she leans forward, tense with suspense, and pants hungrily until the nipple is in her mouth. Then when the contents of the bottle are gone, she cries. At first she cried a lot, but now it's more cursory, and occasionally she won't cry at all. I think she's finally decided that she can trust us to feed her again when she gets hungry again! Anyway, since we've been back in the U.S., I've been trying to give her solid foods during the day and only give her bottles at night. So on Saturday I introduced a number of solid foods. Let me tell you, this child truly likes to eat! At one point I was feeding her a mashed banana. I remembered hearing that bananas can cause constipation, so I only mashed half of it, and I didn't have anything else handy to feed her when the banana ran out. Well, when she swallowed the last bite and realized there wasn't anymore, she was outraged! She threw back her head, arched her back, and shrieked in fury. It took some doing to get her calmed down. Later, she threw the same performance over a jar of baby food. (Now I've gotten smarter and always have Cheerios handy to pop in her mouth when she finishes something else.) Her grand eating total for Saturday was: two jars of baby food, half a banana, a little more than one egg steamed with milk, a bottle of rice cereal, two small bottles of diluted juice, and an unknown amount of stars (aka Gerber graduates "puffs"). Not too shabby for a fourteen-pound child! Perhaps not suprisingly, she went on to produce something like eight dirty diapers in 24 hours. Now that her initial eating orgy is over she's consuming food less extravagantly. She's taken to eating a few bites eagerly and then bursting into tears. But if I give her a few Cheerios she'll then happily go back to her original food. Strange child. She continues to be really sensitive to other people eating. If I sit on the floor near her to eat, she'll not only watch me intensely the whole time, but try to climb up me so she can get into my bowl. At least she's stopped crying every time I eat!
I may have written earlier that instead of sticking things into her mouth to check them out, she'll stick out her tongue and lick them. This is still mostly true, but she's unfortunately discovered the uses of teeth. This morning she chewed the tag off a toy, and then shortly afterwards chewed the tag off one of our suitcases. I thought I had gotten all of it out of her mouth, but when Tim was playing with her a little while later he discovered that she still had some pulpy paper stored up in the roof of her mouth. Oops. I've caught her trying to chew other things apart on several occasions today, so I'll have to pay close attention to what she tries to put in her mouth!
Linette
One of my goals upon returning to the U.S. was to get Esther on a more nutritious diet. In China, I figured as long as I filled her tummy at the right times, it wouldn't matter if she missed a few nutrients for two weeks. (We did give her some table food, which she really liked, but with our erratic schedule and frequent changes of location, it was hard to consistently supplement her bottles of formula and rice cereal.) Esther's referral information had included the line, "When she sees food, she wants to eat." We decided in China that it should have read, "When she sees food, she cries until you give it to her"! It took until the end of our stay there before she could anticipate a bottle without crying about it. Now she usually doesn't cry, but she leans forward, tense with suspense, and pants hungrily until the nipple is in her mouth. Then when the contents of the bottle are gone, she cries. At first she cried a lot, but now it's more cursory, and occasionally she won't cry at all. I think she's finally decided that she can trust us to feed her again when she gets hungry again! Anyway, since we've been back in the U.S., I've been trying to give her solid foods during the day and only give her bottles at night. So on Saturday I introduced a number of solid foods. Let me tell you, this child truly likes to eat! At one point I was feeding her a mashed banana. I remembered hearing that bananas can cause constipation, so I only mashed half of it, and I didn't have anything else handy to feed her when the banana ran out. Well, when she swallowed the last bite and realized there wasn't anymore, she was outraged! She threw back her head, arched her back, and shrieked in fury. It took some doing to get her calmed down. Later, she threw the same performance over a jar of baby food. (Now I've gotten smarter and always have Cheerios handy to pop in her mouth when she finishes something else.) Her grand eating total for Saturday was: two jars of baby food, half a banana, a little more than one egg steamed with milk, a bottle of rice cereal, two small bottles of diluted juice, and an unknown amount of stars (aka Gerber graduates "puffs"). Not too shabby for a fourteen-pound child! Perhaps not suprisingly, she went on to produce something like eight dirty diapers in 24 hours. Now that her initial eating orgy is over she's consuming food less extravagantly. She's taken to eating a few bites eagerly and then bursting into tears. But if I give her a few Cheerios she'll then happily go back to her original food. Strange child. She continues to be really sensitive to other people eating. If I sit on the floor near her to eat, she'll not only watch me intensely the whole time, but try to climb up me so she can get into my bowl. At least she's stopped crying every time I eat!
I may have written earlier that instead of sticking things into her mouth to check them out, she'll stick out her tongue and lick them. This is still mostly true, but she's unfortunately discovered the uses of teeth. This morning she chewed the tag off a toy, and then shortly afterwards chewed the tag off one of our suitcases. I thought I had gotten all of it out of her mouth, but when Tim was playing with her a little while later he discovered that she still had some pulpy paper stored up in the roof of her mouth. Oops. I've caught her trying to chew other things apart on several occasions today, so I'll have to pay close attention to what she tries to put in her mouth!
Linette
Friday, May 2, 2008
We are home!
We had a great flight--we had upgraded to the economy plus section so we could get a bulkhead bassinet seat, and that section was practically empty. Tim got a row of three seats all to himself, and Esther and I had the bulkhead all to ourselves. I ended up putting her down on a blanket on the floor, where she slept for the majority of the flight, and I lay down in the rest of the space and got a little shut-eye myself. All of our ears did fine on the trip, but Tim was feeling sicker than he had up until that point. He is still very sick. He says he's finally discovered the secret to overcoming jetlag: if you don't feel well, you can sleep all day and all night! So I have been on baby duty since we got back. I'm still a little sick myself, so I've been sleeping whenever Esther does. She is continuing to sleep like a champ, which is great! I hope tomorrow I'll have enough energy to stay up during one of her naps so I can get some unpacking done. She has been really clingy since we got back, which is probably a great sign for our relationship, but it makes it hard to even go prepare a bottle when she cries every time I walk across the room. She also hates anyone eating if she's not eating, so I ate my lunch today with her glaring at me, crying mournfully, and generally making it clear that I was being a neglectful parent. At dinner she didn't cry, but spent most of the time trying to climb up me so she could get into my bowl (I was sitting on the floor next to her). She's definitely going to be a climber. She's not very successful at it yet, but she's got the drive. And now I'm going to get some sleep while I have the chance.
Linette
Linette
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
quick update from Guangzhou
We finished all of our consulate business yesterday, and Esther has her immigrant visa stamped in her passport! Now we can bring her home with us! She'll become a U.S. citizen when we go through immigration at the Dulles airport.
I don't know if someone read our previous blog before her bedtime and started praying or what, but she went to sleep in all of about two minutes. Other naps and bedtimes since then have been more like 20 minutes, but that's totally normal for her. Speaking of prayer, I'd appreciate prayer for my ears on these next two flights. This whole trip I've had a cold that won't go away, and my right ear has been plugged up most of the last 48 hours. That same ear really hurt on the descent of our flight into Guangzhou, and I'm not looking forward to our flight to Beijing in a few hours! Last night I actually woke up with a bit of a sinus headache--although admittedly, it didn't help that Esther had just flipped over in bed and banged heads with me (this hotel doesn't have a crib, so we've been having her sleep between us). I do feel better this morning. Poor Tim has been sick, too. Esther, thankfully, is just coughing and sneezing so far, and doesn't seem to have any congestion. Her ears did fine on the last flight.
More random observations:
Esther has three Mongolian spots (more like washes in her case, as they're large and very light-colored), one at the base of her spine and one on each ankle.
At her medical exam on Saturday, she weighed in at only 14 pounds! Nonetheless, the 6-9 month footed sleeper I tried to put on her didn't fit because she's so long, especially in the torso. Her 6-9 month pants are a great length, but keep falling down.
She's started keeping tabs on me, watching me wherever I go around the room.
And I should probably go rescue Tim now. He's had Esther duty all morning while I packed, and right now he's feeding her steamed eggs in the hotel's little garden area. I suspect he wouldn't mind a little break!
Linette
Sunday, April 27, 2008
some things I'm glad about
I'm glad I'm not doing this as a single parent!! I know people do, but I'm really not sure how. So many times I've been in the midde of doing something and realized I've forgotten something crucial--like, I take off a dirty diaper and realize I can't reach the wipes! Or I'm holding Esther and I need to do something that I can't easily do with a baby in my arms. It's so nice to have someone to tag-team with! Of course, once we get back home I'll have to get used to doing things myself, but I think it will be easier when I have set routines and places to put everything. One of the hardest things about traveling has been the physical disorganization. I feel like I spend so much time hunting through our three suitcases for that one thing that I need five minutes ago.
I'm glad Esther isn't twins! We're tired enough as it is; I can't imagine having two babies who aren't always on the same schedule.
I'm glad our schedule is becoming a little more relaxed. We only have two things left to do: our consulate appointment Monday morning, and our swearing-in ceremony on Tuesday afternoon. Other than that, we can focus on keeping fed and rested, and trying to get Esther on a somewhat regular sleeping schedule. She has been good at staying asleep from day one, but getting her to sleep in the first place has become more and more difficult. I don't know if all the changes in her life are adding up to a general feeling of insecurity, or if, as she becomes more attached to us, she's afraid of us disappearing if she doesn't keep tabs on us. I'm reasonably confident that she didn't have trouble falling asleep at the orphanage, and she didn't have too much trouble with us, either, until our first night in Guangzhou. But the last couple of nights we've had to resort to carrying her until she fell asleep. Sigh.
Linette
Thursday, April 24, 2008
More about Esther
Well, I did say I couldn't guarantee our level of internet access in
China! I really want to write all about what we've been doing the
last several days, but I'm sure what you're all most interested in is
Esther herself, since she's the star of the blog! ;-) So, here's
more about Esther:
China! I really want to write all about what we've been doing the
last several days, but I'm sure what you're all most interested in is
Esther herself, since she's the star of the blog! ;-) So, here's
more about Esther:
She really does stick her tongue out a lot! Most smiles are prefaced
by reaching the tip of her tongue towards her nose, and when she's
interested in something, instead of sticking it in her mouth, she'll
lick it. (Yes, we've both been licked.)
She has four teeth on the top and three on the bottom. One more on
the bottom is bulging at the gum, and I think causing her some
discomfort. She chews on shirts a lot (hers or ours), or occasionally
her thumb. Last night I rubbed her gum with the "fingertip
toothbrush" (a nifty invention!) from her "baby oral care kit," and
she loved it! Then I was finally able to get her to understand the
purpose of a teething ring. The first time Tim stuck one in her mouth
she got mad and started howling.
She just learned to crawl! When we first got her she would get up on
all fours, rock a little, and occasionally manage to lurch forward,
but she wasn't very coordinated. Then last night she crawled across
the bed to her daddy! This means we have to watch her even more
carefully on the bed, but it's fun to see her acquiring a new skill.
She has a number of self-soothing actions which she does when she's
sleepy, including sucking on cloth, rubbing her hair (or something
else with texture), getting up on all fours with her head on the bed
and rocking back and forth, and hitting her head against the bed (at
least she doesn't do it on anything hard). Although this last is
probably an institutional behavior, it's pretty funny to watch her
rock back and forth crying, then suddenly flop down on the bed, stick
her tongue out, and make sucking motions with her eyes closed. The
transition is so abrupt! And she'll go back and forth between the two
states for quite a while before finally conking out.
For the most part, she has a quiet cry, although she has let out some
pretty dramatic wails when it came time to sleep. Even at her most
outraged, though, she's no competition for her little friend-to-be
Safina. I guess there's no operatic career in her future!
She doesn't sit very well. She only babbles occasionally (her
repertoire includes wawawa, mamama, bababa and dadada--not much
variety in the vowels yet!), but she coos when she's in a good mood.
She doesn't have any sort of a pincer grasp, but will hold a toy in
her first and transfer it from hand to hand.
She isn't sure what she thinks of raspberries on her tummy. She gives
me a really dubious look when I try it.
She didn't like her first bath with us; when we plopped her in the
water she started crying. The second time we got smart and let her
stand in it first. After a few minutes she started trying to take
steps, and discovered that it splashed. Then she was willing to sit
down so she could splash more effectively, and now she thinks baths
are okay.
She's discovered her reflection in the mirror, and she thinks that
other baby is pretty darn cute! She likes to wave her arm at herself
and stick out her tongue at herself, and sometimes she gives herself a
big grin.
Some things she likes:
interesting textures (she loves to feel different kinds of materials)
grape-flavored baby acetaminophen
steamed egg
being carried
being lifted up in the air
standing up while someone supports her
kicking things
looking out the window
going new places, especially in the Ergo baby carrier
plastic bags and plastic tissue pack covers
Baba (Daddy) making funny faces and noises
Some things she dislikes:
being held by someone who's sitting still
having a wet or dirty diaper (we finally figure out that if she
suddenly lets out a wail when she's been playing happily, the first
thing we should do is check her diaper)
bottles that don't flow as expected, and/or don't contain what
she expected (we've had some challenges feeding her, although we're
doing much better now)
going to sleep, especially in her crib (but she will often conk
out in the Ergo with very little fuss)
Overall, I think our transition to being a family is going well. We
weren't able to get enough food and liquid into her at first, and
between that, general disorientation, and teething, she wasn't a very
happy baby. For most of the day, the only time she wasn't fussy was
if she was sleeping (which she did a lot) or if we were carrying her.
Over the last few days, as she has gotten more used to us and we have
gotten better at keeping her physically comfortable, we've seen more
of her contented and playful sides (although still plenty of crying).
She was neither enthusiastic nor terrified about being handed to us on
the first day; she just looked very solemn and observant, especially
when everyone she was familiar with walked out of the room and left
her with us! She still isn't showing a huge preference for us over
other people (although she clearly likes being with us), but she
hasn't made any attempt to make up with anyone else, which I think is
a good sign for bonding. She does make good eye contact with both of
us, and reserves most of her smiles and giggles for us. She likes
touching our faces (which has been problematic at times, as she came
to us with very sharp fingernails!), and pulling her baba's glasses
off. She doesn't seem to prefer one of us over the other, unless
Daddy has a slight edge at playtime--he's more creative at amusing her
than I am. :-) The first few days I felt like I was babysitting on a
permanent basis, but I'm beginning to feel like she is really a member
of the family.
Well, I'm on the hotel internet and I need to get off in a few
minutes, so I'd better stop here. I'll update more when I get the
chance...maybe after Esther starts kindergarten?
Linette
Sunday, April 20, 2008
We have Esther!
Today was a big day. After a 4 hour flight for us and a 4 hour drive for Esther, we met at last. She has lots of hair and several teeth, and likes to stick her tongue out. She didn't cry when we held her and took her to our hotel, but she was also very tired since she had missed her nap. She started to fall asleep in the car, but when we got to the hotel and put her down she started crying unless we held her and walked with her. She finally fell asleep in the Ergo baby carrier, but started to wake up again when Linette put her down, so she laid down with her still in the baby carrier, and achieved an hour nap (Esther that is, not Linette) and Tim took a picture of them together (hopefully we can post this later - it turns out that our ability to reach blogspot depends on where in China we are).
We met a very nice family who are friends of friends from Oregon and had dinner with them. They also have an adopted child from China, and taught us how to make steamed egg - which was a big hit with Esther.
We are still really jet lagged and have to go put Esther to bed, but we wanted to give a quick update.
Love,
Tim
Friday, April 18, 2008
Our trip
We are having internet problems! Our hotel has free internet, but we couldn't get it to communicate with our computer. Then we took the computer over to the Wrights' apartment (our next-door neighbors last year) and had the same problem. So we probably won't be able to connect with our own computer anywhere in China. Right now I'm in my friend Poppy's dorm room using hers. Tim's best guess is that when he set up our Verizon DSL account on our computer, it somehow reconfigured the internet settings. Sigh. So there is a good chance this blog will remain pictureless until we get back to the U.S. If a picture is worth a thousand words, does the following description of our trip qualify as a picture?
Travel:
The 13 1/2 hour flight from Washington Dulles airport to Beijing was, well, 13 1/2 hours of sitting in cramped quarters trying to sleep at times our biological clocks said we should be awake. The most memorable part of the trip was looking down from the window at the back of the plane and seeing the sea ice covering the Arctic ocean! Another interesting tidbit is that we were in the very last row of seats on the plane. The disadvantage was that people tend to congregate right behind that area, and one very chatty lady did so, talking animatedly with a new friend for three or four hours. The advantage was that we could recline our seats all the way back without worrying about the people behind us. So the flight wasn't too uncomfortable.
We arrived into Beijing's gigantic new terminal. The red pillars outside the expansive glass walls are a nice touch, and we were generally impressed with the signage and with the airport train that whirred us off from our terminal of arrival to the place where we picked up our luggage. The new terminal is further from the old one than I had expected, though; we drove through suburbia on a shuttle bus to get to the old terminal where our connecting flight to Jinan was to depart. NOTE TO PROSPECTIVE ADOPTION TRAVELLERS IN CHINA: China has banned all liquids on domestic flights. That includes water-filled pacifiers. Naturally, we realized this AFTER checking in our checked bags, where we had carefully stowed all the small liquids and lotions that we had carried with us on the international flight. Fortunately, they allowed us to check one of our carry-ons with the offending pacifiers inside, and the only cost was a little wasted time.
After a not-too-tedious layever, we boarded our plane for the one-hour hop to Jinan. Beijing's smog, which had been noteworthy even upon our arrival, had gotten steadily worse throughout our layover. I wouldn't quite call it pea soup, but it was definitely low visibility. Apparently, because of this, the airport was clearing planes for takeoff at longer intervals than usual. So after boarding with plenty of time to spare and buckling ourselves into our seats--which were obediently locked into a very uncomfortable upright position--we proceeded to spend the next hour sitting in line on the runway. We finally took off at the time we were supposed to land, and made it to Jinan without further incident. The taxi driver we ended up with on our way into Jinan was a very friendly fellow who could have a second career as a Chinese language teacher. He was interested in talking to us, spoke slowly, and was able to rephrase his sentences if I didn't understand them the first time around. So we had a nice conversation, and I was pleased to find that my Chinese isn't about the same level as it was before I left. (I have been getting lessons from my friend Grace in Maryland.) Poor Poppy had been waiting for us at the hotel for an hour, having shown up at the time we were supposed to arrive. She thoughtfully brought us two bags of rolls, a whole peeled pineapple, and a hand of bananas, which came in handy when we woke up early and ravenous the next morning!