Joel is one month old today! And as I told Tim this morning, you know your expectations have changed when a total of seven and a half hours of sleep spread out over four separate installments feels like being rested! But we are slowly settling in with our newest family member.
We have a night-time routine, sort of. Bedtime is at approximately nine; Joel wakes up twice during the night for about an hour each time (he's a slow eater!), and then is up for the day at six-ish, though it can be later or can be as early as five. Daytime is more spontaneous. But we can count on Joel to nurse frequently while he is awake (some days it feels like that's all we do!), to have one or two stretches of deep sleep plus lots of catnaps, to have a period of contented alertness in the morning, and often to have a period of fussiness in the afternoon.
I have gotten a few smiles, real ones directed at me, not just the little sleep smiles that we saw when he was a newborn. They light up his whole face! He also coos when he is content and not eating. His head doesn't bobble quite so much now when I carry him, and he likes to gaze at faces. What he does not like is to be put down by himself. Now he won't even sleep alone for a nap. No matter how deeply asleep he may be when I put him down, as soon as he reaches his next period of light sleep he realizes that he is by himself and wakes up. So much for my vision of teaching Esther during his long afternoon nap. Instead, we do most of our lessons with me sitting on the floor next to her nursing him (a firm pillow helps a lot here, as it frees up my hands!), or with him sleeping on my chest. And somewhat to my surprise, it has been working out really well! We've done two days of second grade so far, and we were able to accomplish my goals for the day both times. I was congratulating myself on how well we've adapted...and then Esther reminded me that in a few months he will be mobile. Sigh. This school year is going to be a test of everyone's flexibility!
The most amazing thing about Joel at this age is that he can make predictions about my behaviour, and he trusts me. If he is hungry and I take him to the chair I usually nurse him in, he will often stop crying and wait hopefully while I get my clothes adjusted. It boggles my mind that he trusts me so much to give him what he needs that he can stop crying from the need and instead act as if it has already been met. (And, oh, he is so cute while he waits! His eyes get big, his mouth makes a little 'O,' and he gazes at me with rapt attention and the most hopeful expression you can imagine--it's hilarious and adorable.)
Speaking of hilarious, Esther has produced some good quotes in the last month. She has always been prone to spoonerisms (e.g. saying dullbozer for bulldozer). (One time we were carrying trays in McDonalds and she suddenly stopped and announced, as one discovering a catastrophe, "Mommy, we forgot the check-up!" I was racking my brains to think what doctor's appointment we might have missed when it suddenly occurred to me that we had neglected to pick up any ketchup.) Lately she has added malapropisms to her repertoire. The first time she saw Joel, she exclaimed, "He has dimples [pimples] on his nose! He looks like a fruit!" A few days later we had to take him back to the hospital lab for a blood draw and he was getting fussy. She suggested, "Mommy, you should juggle him to calm him down." (She meant jiggle.) Then there was the Sunday that she asked me if I had had to milk Joel during church.
On the whole, Esther is adjusting well to sharing me with her new brother. She complains some that he is getting more attention than she is, and in an attempt to claim her fair share of the attention she likes to hang around while I'm feeding him and ask me continuously to "Watch this!"--"this" usually being some gymnastics move that is not ideally suited to being performed in my bedroom. She has also indulged in a little baby talk, but less than I might have expected. On the other hand, she clearly adores her baby brother, and is always asking if she can hold him or play with him. She can be very helpful entertaining him for a few minutes when I need two hands to get something done.
Daniel, too, has risen to the occasion. He has actually been consistently polite to me for the past month! And he has had a wonderful attitude about helping out when asked. He also is good at holding and entertaining his baby brother. I don't think he's been quite sure what to do with the time and energy he would normally spend aggravating me, so instead he's been watching way too much Youtube. (He has, at least, learned some things from all the videos.) Today I nursed Joel in the living room and Daniel sat on the couch with me and we talked and looked at some videos together. I had to remind him a few times about appropriate comments and touch, but it felt good to spend normal time together. Hopefully we will have more and more such times as we get adjusted to our "new normal" as a family.
