Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a teenager!

"Oh?" you say, "It took you eight months to notice that his age ends in 't-e-e-n'?"

Well, no, it didn't.  We were aware before we met Daniel that he is chronologically a teenager.  And in some ways, especially his perceptiveness and ability to articulate thoughts and feelings, he is mature even for his chronological age.  But in other ways, especially his neediness of my attention and, on some days, his behavior, Daniel has at times left me feeling like I was parenting a particularly tall and mechanically gifted preschooler. 

Recently, though, I have felt like I'm really parenting a teenager.  Instead of telling me all about his day at school, Daniel now volunteers very little information and answers questions with "I don't know," "Nothing," and "Maybe."  He hasn't told me which girl he has a crush on since before Christmas (although I have a guess!).  He has gotten a little more independent about self-care--not that he was not capable of doing things independently before, but he has become more willing to do things for himself if I am not available at the time he wants them done.  He has started calling me "Mom" instead of "Mama" or "Mommy" (and it has been several months since he gave up trying to call me by my first name).  He is demonstrating a little more normal boundaries for his age and gender.  And he no longer follows me around all day (although I'm not sure how much of that to attribute to a new developmental phase, and how much to attribute to his discovery that he can watch his favorite local Jinan news programs over the internet).

Like most mamas of kids who are growing up, I'm just a little ambivalent about the change.  I'm glad for his sake that he is capable of acting his age, especially outside the family.  When we were in DC this past weekend I got to see him interacting with a variety of people in a variety of settings that are outside his norm, and it was so clear how far he's come in the eight months that we've known him.  And I must say, my life is more relaxing and my kitchen is more clean now that I don't have two kids jockeying for my attention every minute that they're both home and Tim isn't.  But on the other hand, sometimes when Daniel has been buried in his computer for a while and I'm in the kitchen alone, I miss him coming in and bugging me!  (He still comes in sometimes, to update me Jinan's weather or the latest sensational local crime.  :-)  And we still have talks, just not as frequently as we used to.)

Now, if only I could figure out how to get him to be polite to his sister and to do chores and homework...