Four kids sleeping (I hope!)

As you can probably tell, the previous post is a guest post by Daniel.  :-)  I was just getting ready to write this post when he wandered in and started inspecting my blog, so I invited him to write in it.

We had a couple of extra kids for the weekend.  Since they aren't ours, I'll call them Bubby and Sissy.  (For those of you who aren't familiar with this-here part of the country, that's "brother" and "sister."  Bubby is a couple years younger than Daniel, and Sissy a couple years older than Esther.  It's our second time doing respite since Daniel has been in the family, and the first with "older" kids.  It's gone pretty well.

I know Sissy has had a good time.  She and Esther did art most of the day today, with breaks to jump on the trampoline, play the wii, and take a walk outside.  Esther had not wanted her to come at first, and did have some trouble sharing her stuff and sharing control of their play, but I'm pretty sure she enjoyed having somebody to play with.  I was worried at times that Esther would overwhelm Sissy with her attention: she followed her everywhere she went, called her until she came, and generally focused on her with a laserlike intensity.  A few times I think Sissy wanted to get away, but on the other hand I think Esther was largely responsible for drawing her out of her initial shell and setting her up to have a good time.  Esther pretty much ignored Bubby, but I suspect that if he had come by himself she would have been nearly as fixated on him as she was on Sissy.  Thanks at least in part to Esther's persistence, Sissy warmed up to us fairly quickly.  At one point on our first evening together she ran into the other room to ask her brother, "Bubby, are you still feeling shy?"  He said no, and she announced, "I'm not feeling shy anymore either!"  Made me smile.  And apparently it was a big deal to her that I let her help in the kitchen and didn't care if the (washable) fingerpaints got messy.  At one point she said, "I don't think I'm ever going to want to leave this place!"  I'm taking that with a grain of salt, of course, but I do think she felt safe and had fun.

Bubby was interested in talking sooner after arrival than Sissy, and he is good at small talk, but he never came very far out of his shell.  He brought some electronic games with him and we let him play them for more time than we would have under less temporary circumstances.  When we told him they had to go up for a while he complied, then sat around staring into space.  He did join Tim (and Daniel) for a science project and a game of pool, but didn't seem to have any ideas of his own for what to do.  He declined art projects and helping me cook dinner.  He did play some with Esther and Sissy this evening, although I think it was Sissy who initiated it and decided what to do.  Bubby also wasn't as proactive as Sissy about communicating his needs; for example, I only found out that he was too cold the first night he slept here because I asked.  (But at least he answered my question honestly!)  Daniel had hoped to find in Bubby a kindred, electricity-loving spirit, but wasn't able to make much of a connection.  So he was disappointed and bored the whole weekend, feeling like he couldn't be himself with strangers in the house, but didn't have the compensation of enjoying the strangers' company.  We were proud of him for figuring out his own way of coping.  He made a couple trips downtown (walking) to go shopping, spent some time at a friend's house, and worked on a project.  And he showed pretty good sense about what of his normal interactions with us (especially me) were appropriate in front of someone we don't know well, and which were not.

Both kids were well-mannered and compliant, and with Tim being off work right now and us having several days' notice to get ready, we were able to clear our schedules and orient the weekend around keeping them comfortable and (as much as they chose) engaged in positive activities.  So it was kind of "honeymoon-y," not at all like it would be if they actually lived with us.  Despite their good behavior, it took a lot of energy to be attentive to four children instead of two.  I won't be sorry to go back to normal when they leave tomorrow afternoon, but I'm glad we're able to provide a safe, caring place for kids under stress, and a break for caregivers who need to get out of town without worrying about their charges.  And I think we learned some things about our kids as well.  We just need to figure out how to apply the lessons!