hell hath no fury like a baby whose food is "all gone"

Well, things are settling down around here.  Esther has been sleeping less during the day and more at night; Tim was feeling well enough this morning to go into work (although he still has a nasty cough and a sore throat); and I actually managed to run a load of dishes and a load of laundry this afternoon!  Maybe I'll be able to function as a stay-at-home mom after all!

One of my goals upon returning to the U.S. was to get Esther on a more nutritious diet.  In China, I figured as long as I filled her tummy at the right times, it wouldn't matter if she missed a few nutrients for two weeks.  (We did give her some table food, which she really liked, but with our erratic schedule and frequent changes of location, it was hard to consistently supplement her bottles of formula and rice cereal.)  Esther's referral information had included the line, "When she sees food, she wants to eat."  We decided in China that it should have read, "When she sees food, she cries until you give it to her"!  It took until the end of our stay there before she could anticipate a bottle without crying about it.  Now she usually doesn't cry, but she leans forward, tense with suspense, and pants hungrily until the nipple is in her mouth.  Then when the contents of the bottle are gone, she cries.  At first she cried a lot, but now it's more cursory, and occasionally she won't cry at all.  I think she's finally decided that she can trust us to feed her again when she gets hungry again!  Anyway, since we've been back in the U.S., I've been trying to give her solid foods during the day and only give her bottles at night.  So on Saturday I introduced a number of solid foods.  Let me tell you, this child truly likes to eat!  At one point I was feeding her a mashed banana.  I remembered hearing that bananas can cause constipation, so I only mashed half of it, and I didn't have anything else handy to feed her when the banana ran out.  Well, when she swallowed the last bite and realized there wasn't anymore, she was outraged!  She threw back her head, arched her back, and shrieked in fury.  It took some doing to get her calmed down.  Later, she threw the same performance over a jar of baby food.  (Now I've gotten smarter and always have Cheerios handy to pop in her mouth when she finishes something else.)  Her grand eating total for Saturday was: two jars of baby food, half a banana, a little more than one egg steamed with milk, a bottle of rice cereal, two small bottles of diluted juice, and an unknown amount of stars (aka Gerber graduates "puffs").  Not too shabby for a fourteen-pound child!  Perhaps not suprisingly, she went on to produce something like eight dirty diapers in 24 hours.  Now that her initial eating orgy is over she's consuming food less extravagantly.  She's taken to eating a few bites eagerly and then bursting into tears.  But if I give her a few Cheerios she'll then happily go back to her original food.  Strange child.  She continues to be really sensitive to other people eating.  If I sit on the floor near her to eat, she'll not only watch me intensely the whole time, but try to climb up me so she can get into my bowl.  At least she's stopped crying every time I eat!

I may have written earlier that instead of sticking things into her mouth to check them out, she'll stick out her tongue and lick them.  This is still mostly true, but she's unfortunately discovered the uses of teeth.  This morning she chewed the tag off a toy, and then shortly afterwards chewed the tag off one of our suitcases.  I thought I had gotten all of it out of her mouth, but when Tim was playing with her a little while later he discovered that she still had some pulpy paper stored up in the roof of her mouth.  Oops.  I've caught her trying to chew other things apart on several occasions today, so I'll have to pay close attention to what she tries to put in her mouth!

Linette

We are home!

We had a great flight--we had upgraded to the economy plus section so we could get a bulkhead bassinet seat, and that section was practically empty.  Tim got a row of three seats all to himself, and Esther and I had the bulkhead all to ourselves.  I ended up putting her down on a blanket on the floor, where she slept for the majority of the flight, and I lay down in the rest of the space and got a little shut-eye myself.  All of our ears did fine on the trip, but Tim was feeling sicker than he had up until that point.  He is still very sick.  He says he's finally discovered the secret to overcoming jetlag: if you don't feel well, you can sleep all day and all night!  So I have been on baby duty since we got back.  I'm still a little sick myself, so I've been sleeping whenever Esther does.  She is continuing to sleep like a champ, which is great!  I hope tomorrow I'll have enough energy to stay up during one of her naps so I can get some unpacking done.  She has been really clingy since we got back, which is probably a great sign for our relationship, but it makes it hard to even go prepare a bottle when she cries every time I walk across the room.  She also hates anyone eating if she's not eating, so I ate my lunch today with her glaring at me, crying mournfully, and generally making it clear that I was being a neglectful parent.  At dinner she didn't cry, but spent most of the time trying to climb up me so she could get into my bowl (I was sitting on the floor next to her).  She's definitely going to be a climber.  She's not very successful at it yet, but she's got the drive.  And now I'm going to get some sleep while I have the chance.

Linette

quick update from Guangzhou

We finished all of our consulate business yesterday, and Esther has her immigrant visa stamped in her passport!  Now we can bring her home with us!  She'll become a U.S. citizen when we go through immigration at the Dulles airport.

 

I don't know if someone read our previous blog before her bedtime and started praying or what, but she went to sleep in all of about two minutes.  Other naps and bedtimes since then have been more like 20 minutes, but that's totally normal for her.  Speaking of prayer, I'd appreciate prayer for my ears on these next two flights.  This whole trip I've had a cold that won't go away, and my right ear has been plugged up most of the last 48 hours.  That same ear really hurt on the descent of our flight into Guangzhou, and I'm not looking forward to our flight to Beijing in a few hours!  Last night I actually woke up with a bit of a sinus headache--although admittedly, it didn't help that Esther had just flipped over in bed and banged heads with me (this hotel doesn't have a crib, so we've been  having her sleep between us).  I do feel better this morning.  Poor Tim has been sick, too.  Esther, thankfully, is just coughing and sneezing so far, and doesn't seem to have any congestion.  Her ears did fine on the last flight.

 

More random observations:

 

Esther has three Mongolian spots (more like washes in her case, as they're large and very light-colored), one at the base of her spine and one on each ankle.

 

At her medical exam on Saturday, she weighed in at only 14 pounds!  Nonetheless, the 6-9 month footed sleeper I tried to put on her didn't fit because she's so long, especially in the torso.  Her 6-9 month pants are a great length, but keep falling down.

 

She's started keeping tabs on me, watching me wherever I go around the room.

 

And I should probably go rescue Tim now.  He's had Esther duty all morning while I packed, and right now he's feeding her steamed eggs in the hotel's little garden area.  I suspect he wouldn't mind a little break!

 

Linette

some things I'm glad about

I'm glad I'm not doing this as a single parent!!  I know people do, but I'm really not sure how.  So many times I've been in the midde of doing something and realized I've forgotten something crucial--like, I take off a dirty diaper and realize I can't reach the wipes!  Or I'm holding Esther and I need to do something that I can't easily do with a baby in my arms.  It's so nice to have someone to tag-team with!  Of course, once we get back home I'll have to get used to doing things myself, but I think it will  be easier when I have set routines and places to put everything.  One of the hardest things about traveling has been the physical disorganization.  I feel like I spend so much time hunting through our three suitcases for that one thing that I need five minutes ago.

 

I'm glad Esther isn't twins!  We're tired enough as it is; I can't imagine having two babies who aren't always on the same schedule.

 

I'm glad our schedule is becoming a little more relaxed.  We only have two things left to do: our consulate appointment Monday morning, and our swearing-in ceremony on Tuesday afternoon.  Other than that, we can focus on keeping fed and rested, and trying to get Esther on a somewhat regular sleeping schedule.  She has been good at staying asleep from day one, but getting her to sleep in the first place has become more and more difficult.  I don't know if all the changes in her life are adding up to a general feeling of insecurity, or if, as she becomes more attached to us, she's afraid of us disappearing if she doesn't keep tabs on us.  I'm reasonably confident that she didn't have trouble falling asleep at the orphanage, and she didn't have too much trouble with us, either, until our first night in Guangzhou.  But the last couple of nights we've had to resort to carrying her until she fell asleep.  Sigh.

 

Linette

More about Esther

Well, I did say I couldn't guarantee our level of internet access in
China! I really want to write all about what we've been doing the
last several days, but I'm sure what you're all most interested in is
Esther herself, since she's the star of the blog! ;-) So, here's
more about Esther:

She really does stick her tongue out a lot! Most smiles are prefaced
by reaching the tip of her tongue towards her nose, and when she's
interested in something, instead of sticking it in her mouth, she'll
lick it. (Yes, we've both been licked.)

She has four teeth on the top and three on the bottom. One more on
the bottom is bulging at the gum, and I think causing her some
discomfort. She chews on shirts a lot (hers or ours), or occasionally
her thumb. Last night I rubbed her gum with the "fingertip
toothbrush" (a nifty invention!) from her "baby oral care kit," and
she loved it! Then I was finally able to get her to understand the
purpose of a teething ring. The first time Tim stuck one in her mouth
she got mad and started howling.

She just learned to crawl! When we first got her she would get up on
all fours, rock a little, and occasionally manage to lurch forward,
but she wasn't very coordinated. Then last night she crawled across
the bed to her daddy! This means we have to watch her even more
carefully on the bed, but it's fun to see her acquiring a new skill.

She has a number of self-soothing actions which she does when she's
sleepy, including sucking on cloth, rubbing her hair (or something
else with texture), getting up on all fours with her head on the bed
and rocking back and forth, and hitting her head against the bed (at
least she doesn't do it on anything hard). Although this last is
probably an institutional behavior, it's pretty funny to watch her
rock back and forth crying, then suddenly flop down on the bed, stick
her tongue out, and make sucking motions with her eyes closed. The
transition is so abrupt! And she'll go back and forth between the two
states for quite a while before finally conking out.

For the most part, she has a quiet cry, although she has let out some
pretty dramatic wails when it came time to sleep. Even at her most
outraged, though, she's no competition for her little friend-to-be
Safina. I guess there's no operatic career in her future!

She doesn't sit very well. She only babbles occasionally (her
repertoire includes wawawa, mamama, bababa and dadada--not much
variety in the vowels yet!), but she coos when she's in a good mood.
She doesn't have any sort of a pincer grasp, but will hold a toy in
her first and transfer it from hand to hand.

She isn't sure what she thinks of raspberries on her tummy. She gives
me a really dubious look when I try it.

She didn't like her first bath with us; when we plopped her in the
water she started crying. The second time we got smart and let her
stand in it first. After a few minutes she started trying to take
steps, and discovered that it splashed. Then she was willing to sit
down so she could splash more effectively, and now she thinks baths
are okay.

She's discovered her reflection in the mirror, and she thinks that
other baby is pretty darn cute! She likes to wave her arm at herself
and stick out her tongue at herself, and sometimes she gives herself a
big grin.

Some things she likes:
interesting textures (she loves to feel different kinds of materials)
grape-flavored baby acetaminophen
steamed egg
being carried
being lifted up in the air
standing up while someone supports her
kicking things
looking out the window
going new places, especially in the Ergo baby carrier
plastic bags and plastic tissue pack covers
Baba (Daddy) making funny faces and noises

Some things she dislikes:
being held by someone who's sitting still
having a wet or dirty diaper (we finally figure out that if she
suddenly lets out a wail when she's been playing happily, the first
thing we should do is check her diaper)
bottles that don't flow as expected, and/or don't contain what
she expected (we've had some challenges feeding her, although we're
doing much better now)
going to sleep, especially in her crib (but she will often conk
out in the Ergo with very little fuss)

Overall, I think our transition to being a family is going well. We
weren't able to get enough food and liquid into her at first, and
between that, general disorientation, and teething, she wasn't a very
happy baby. For most of the day, the only time she wasn't fussy was
if she was sleeping (which she did a lot) or if we were carrying her.
Over the last few days, as she has gotten more used to us and we have
gotten better at keeping her physically comfortable, we've seen more
of her contented and playful sides (although still plenty of crying).
She was neither enthusiastic nor terrified about being handed to us on
the first day; she just looked very solemn and observant, especially
when everyone she was familiar with walked out of the room and left
her with us! She still isn't showing a huge preference for us over
other people (although she clearly likes being with us), but she
hasn't made any attempt to make up with anyone else, which I think is
a good sign for bonding. She does make good eye contact with both of
us, and reserves most of her smiles and giggles for us. She likes
touching our faces (which has been problematic at times, as she came
to us with very sharp fingernails!), and pulling her baba's glasses
off. She doesn't seem to prefer one of us over the other, unless
Daddy has a slight edge at playtime--he's more creative at amusing her
than I am. :-) The first few days I felt like I was babysitting on a
permanent basis, but I'm beginning to feel like she is really a member
of the family.

Well, I'm on the hotel internet and I need to get off in a few
minutes, so I'd better stop here. I'll update more when I get the
chance...maybe after Esther starts kindergarten?

Linette

We have Esther!

Today was a big day.  After a 4 hour flight for us and a 4 hour drive for Esther, we met at last.  She has lots of hair and several teeth, and likes to stick her tongue out.  She didn't cry when we held her and took her to our hotel, but she was also very tired since she had missed her nap.  She started to fall asleep in the car, but when we got to the hotel and put her down she started crying unless we held her and walked with her. She finally fell asleep in the Ergo baby carrier, but started to wake up again when Linette put her down, so she laid down with her still in the baby carrier, and achieved an hour nap (Esther that is, not Linette) and Tim took a picture of them together (hopefully we can post this later - it turns out that our ability to reach blogspot depends on where in China we are).

We met a very nice family who are friends of friends from Oregon and had dinner with them. They also have an adopted child from China, and taught us how to make steamed egg - which was a big hit with Esther.

We are still really jet lagged and have to go put Esther to bed, but we wanted to give a quick update.

Love,

Tim

Our trip

We are having internet problems!  Our hotel has free internet, but we couldn't get it to communicate with our computer.  Then we took the computer over to the Wrights' apartment (our next-door neighbors last year) and had the same problem.  So we probably won't be able to connect with our own computer anywhere in China.  Right now I'm in my friend Poppy's dorm room using hers.  Tim's best guess is that when he set up our Verizon DSL account on our computer, it somehow reconfigured the internet settings.  Sigh.  So there is a good chance this blog will remain pictureless until we get back to the U.S.  If a picture is worth a thousand words, does the following description of our trip qualify as a picture?

 

Travel:

 

The 13 1/2 hour flight from Washington Dulles airport to Beijing was, well, 13 1/2 hours of sitting in cramped quarters trying to sleep at times our biological clocks said we should be awake.  The most memorable part of the trip was looking down from the window at the back of the plane and seeing the sea ice covering the Arctic ocean!  Another interesting tidbit is that we were in the very last row of seats on the plane.  The disadvantage was that people tend to congregate right behind that area, and one very chatty lady did so, talking animatedly with a new friend for three or four hours.  The advantage was that we could recline our seats all the way back without worrying about the people behind us.  So the flight wasn't too uncomfortable.

 

We arrived into Beijing's gigantic new terminal.  The red pillars outside the expansive glass walls are a nice touch, and we were generally impressed with the signage and with the airport train that whirred us off from our terminal of arrival to the place where we picked up our luggage.  The new terminal is further from the old one than I had expected, though; we drove through suburbia on a shuttle bus to get to the old terminal where our connecting flight to Jinan was to depart.  NOTE TO PROSPECTIVE ADOPTION TRAVELLERS IN CHINA: China has banned all liquids on domestic flights.  That includes water-filled pacifiers.  Naturally, we realized this AFTER checking in our checked bags, where we had carefully stowed all the small liquids and lotions that we had carried with us on the international flight.  Fortunately, they allowed us to check one of our carry-ons with the offending pacifiers inside, and the only cost was a little wasted time.

 

After a not-too-tedious layever, we boarded our plane for the one-hour hop to Jinan.  Beijing's smog, which had been noteworthy even upon our arrival, had gotten steadily worse throughout our layover.  I wouldn't quite call it pea soup, but it was definitely low visibility.  Apparently, because of this, the airport was clearing planes for takeoff at longer intervals than usual.  So after boarding with plenty of time to spare and buckling ourselves into our seats--which were obediently locked into a very uncomfortable upright position--we proceeded to spend the next hour sitting in line on the runway.  We finally took off at the time we were supposed to land, and made it to Jinan without further incident.  The taxi driver we ended up with on our way into Jinan was a very friendly fellow who could have a second career as a Chinese language teacher.  He was interested in talking to us, spoke slowly, and was able to rephrase his sentences if I didn't understand them the first time around.  So we had a nice conversation, and I was pleased to find that my Chinese isn't about the same level as it was before I left.  (I have been getting lessons from my friend Grace in Maryland.)  Poor Poppy had been waiting for us at the hotel for an hour, having shown up at the time we were supposed to arrive.  She thoughtfully brought us two bags of rolls, a whole peeled pineapple, and a hand of bananas, which came in handy when we woke up early and ravenous the next morning!